New Year's Eve 2009
Me and my girls, affectionately known as PDS (Party Don't Stop crew), were doing the in-house thing and a few "regulars" were also there. For some reason, everyone we come in contact with really likes hanging out with us so even if it's a guy, we quickly become so "cool" with them that they're like buddies. Anyway, it was a small group of us which included a co-worker of mine and a friend and his girlfriend ringing in the new year together. The ball had dropped, we'd discussed J. Lo's desperation performance and indirect plea to stay relevant, and were about to start what was sure to be an INTENSE game of Taboo. Then the doorbell rang.
He walks in. "Oh my," I'm thinking, "He is cah-ute. Whose friend is he? Is he kicking it with one of my girls?" Tall, brown-skin, glasses, nice build...just CUTE. So, when my friends and I think a guy is "universally attractive," we all give each other the quick glance around the room. But this time - thankfully - I'm the only one glancing. Come to find out, one of the guys who was there told him to come through. Introductions were made and we keep the party going with our latest addition. The night goes on and we're having a great time with Taboo. As it turns out, the Cutie has fallen right into comfort with us like he belongs here. After the game is done, we all chat while watching a movie and I find out he's involved in music and/or entertainment and...he's from down south. Be still, my beating heart - everyone who knows me knows I have a thing for a man from the South with some swagger. The conversation between all of us (the Cutie and I had no "me and Cutie" time) was great and as we hugged (cut it out, he was cool and we all became friendly very quick) I told him to make sure he came around more because "we like you."
Two weeks later.
Ladybug (member of the PDS crew) is trying to find out why Cutie and I haven't become even more cool. I realize that I'm the "odd man out" and we become Facebook friends. Riddle me this: When you become friends with someone on FB that you're attracted to, what are the first two things you check? *waiting* EXAAAAACTLY! You check their "status" if its available and you look at the pictures. So you know that's what I did because by now, my faithful readers get the feeling I would do that, right? Right. Aaaaaaaand, crush OVER.
Cutie is "in a relationship" and...I know her!! How funny is that?! We're not good friends or even associates but we've seen each other enough times to be cordial to each other to the point where I can say, "Yeahhh, I know her." They're a SERIOUS couple too. And you know what? I couldn't even roll my eyes (more than once) or be like "Whatever" because the truth is, they are SO cute together. Like, for real cute together. Thinking back to New Year's Eve, I was actually happy about my bout with shyness that I sometimes have when it comes to men. So after I rolled my eyes once and said, "DRATS," I was over it.
We crush and keep cruisin'.
But DAMN (that's to emphasize the cute level)!!
On to the next one.
*I actually hate that song "On To The Next One" but it was fitting for the end*
**Strong possibility the person this is referring to will read it. I guess if this blog is going to be full disclosure, I can't leave out important things - even if it is clear who I'm talking about. Still, that would be odd, huh? He's still cute though...just can't be looking LIKE THAT anymore**
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Game. Set. Match.
"I know you don't believe in fairy tales but let me be your knight in shining armor. All you have to do is get up in the morning and I'll do the rest." - Shemar Moore, Diary of a Mad Black Woman
Okay, now that you've read that line or remember even more mushy lines from the movie, how many of you all said, "Awww that's sweet." *looks around and waits*
Well, okay then. Who laughed? Snorted? Rolled their eyes? It wouldn't surprise me if you just laughed at those questions...probably because that's exactly what your reaction was to that line. Orlando (Shemar's character) seemed really sincere in professing his love for his woman and in defense, this was the beginning of his marriage proposal. So let's back up a bit.
Let's assume two people meet and there's enough of an attraction and initial likeness for one another that they can go out on a date. Like most dates, there are lots of compliments being handed out in the midst of having conversation - often times coming from the man to the woman. Date's over, you've enjoyed yourself and while you don't see each other for a few days, you speak regularly on the phone. This man can throw a compliment like nobody's business! Now, it sounds good to you but at some point do you start thinking "Here goes...trying to drop that game."
Game. This is what ruins most of the intimate interaction between two people because one usually thinks the other is dropping too much of it. Most times, we as women can only take so many compliments before we wish he'd "cut it out and stop trying so hard." If he calls on the regular (like we always wish but can somehow never seem to meet the guy who'll do that), wants to go out, AND keeps the compliments coming? Oh, we LIKE it but for some reason, many of us are waiting on the other shoe to fall and let the man's "game" fully reveal itself. But how do you know that it's game because what he says and does is not what you're used to hearing and seeing? How can you tell the difference?
When do we cut some slack? And if every man you meet is someone you think is running game, how is it that you see through clearly to the one who isn't try to beat you with it?
Let's discuss.
Okay, now that you've read that line or remember even more mushy lines from the movie, how many of you all said, "Awww that's sweet." *looks around and waits*
Well, okay then. Who laughed? Snorted? Rolled their eyes? It wouldn't surprise me if you just laughed at those questions...probably because that's exactly what your reaction was to that line. Orlando (Shemar's character) seemed really sincere in professing his love for his woman and in defense, this was the beginning of his marriage proposal. So let's back up a bit.
Let's assume two people meet and there's enough of an attraction and initial likeness for one another that they can go out on a date. Like most dates, there are lots of compliments being handed out in the midst of having conversation - often times coming from the man to the woman. Date's over, you've enjoyed yourself and while you don't see each other for a few days, you speak regularly on the phone. This man can throw a compliment like nobody's business! Now, it sounds good to you but at some point do you start thinking "Here goes...trying to drop that game."
Game. This is what ruins most of the intimate interaction between two people because one usually thinks the other is dropping too much of it. Most times, we as women can only take so many compliments before we wish he'd "cut it out and stop trying so hard." If he calls on the regular (like we always wish but can somehow never seem to meet the guy who'll do that), wants to go out, AND keeps the compliments coming? Oh, we LIKE it but for some reason, many of us are waiting on the other shoe to fall and let the man's "game" fully reveal itself. But how do you know that it's game because what he says and does is not what you're used to hearing and seeing? How can you tell the difference?
When do we cut some slack? And if every man you meet is someone you think is running game, how is it that you see through clearly to the one who isn't try to beat you with it?
Let's discuss.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Love Is A Battlefield...
But does it have to be?
"Trouble in my life
Problems when you don’t come home at night
But when you do you always start a fight
But I cant be alone , I need you to come on home
I know you messin around, but who the hell else is gonna hold me down" -Melanie Fiona, "It Kills Me"
This song, though I admittedly really like it (and probably moreso because of the WAY she sings it), gets on my damn nerves. This child is pulling herself into a deep depression over a man doesn't come home and when he does, starts a fight with HER. But she refuses to leave him because she is scared to be single. In the words of Twitter (and someone who I think made a song of the same name), #wheredeydothatat? Why in the world is a grown woman screaming from the rooftop (and now, Melanie is just the messenger because even if she were the one really acting like this, she wouldn't be alone) about how her man is CLEARLY doing her wrong but she can't leave him? We aren't embarrassed about things like this anymore?
Oh, but it gets better (same song):
"Should I grab his cell, call this chick up
Start some shhhh then hang up
Or I should I be a lady
Oohh maybe cuz I wanna have his babies
Ohh yah yahh cuz I don’t wanna be alone
I dont need to be on my own
But I love this man
But some things I cant stand..."
So now we're going to call up the jumpoff and start a fight with her. Right or wrong, the man in the situation is who needs to be dealt with. What part of the game is it that we as women must put with any type of disrespect just to say that we "aren't single?" What is the purpose of fighting for a relationship that TRULY only one of you are committed to being in? The answer seems to be somewhere along the lines of "He needs to know I'm a ride or die chick and not just going to let him go for some bull." Oh okay.
When did it become acceptable to fight for a relationship when one of the people involved in it is clearly not concerned if you catch the "beatdown" for trying to save something that's not there.
Let's hope that Melanie's song (which is smoking up the Billboard charts) is just that. Or if this was about her, she hasn't dealt with this foolishness since she was a teen. OR better still, this was actually a song of sarcasm that's telling women (and hell men too if you put yourself in this situation) NOT to act like this.
It Kills Me too. For real.
Let's Discuss.
"Trouble in my life
Problems when you don’t come home at night
But when you do you always start a fight
But I cant be alone , I need you to come on home
I know you messin around, but who the hell else is gonna hold me down" -Melanie Fiona, "It Kills Me"
This song, though I admittedly really like it (and probably moreso because of the WAY she sings it), gets on my damn nerves. This child is pulling herself into a deep depression over a man doesn't come home and when he does, starts a fight with HER. But she refuses to leave him because she is scared to be single. In the words of Twitter (and someone who I think made a song of the same name), #wheredeydothatat? Why in the world is a grown woman screaming from the rooftop (and now, Melanie is just the messenger because even if she were the one really acting like this, she wouldn't be alone) about how her man is CLEARLY doing her wrong but she can't leave him? We aren't embarrassed about things like this anymore?
Oh, but it gets better (same song):
"Should I grab his cell, call this chick up
Start some shhhh then hang up
Or I should I be a lady
Oohh maybe cuz I wanna have his babies
Ohh yah yahh cuz I don’t wanna be alone
I dont need to be on my own
But I love this man
But some things I cant stand..."
So now we're going to call up the jumpoff and start a fight with her. Right or wrong, the man in the situation is who needs to be dealt with. What part of the game is it that we as women must put with any type of disrespect just to say that we "aren't single?" What is the purpose of fighting for a relationship that TRULY only one of you are committed to being in? The answer seems to be somewhere along the lines of "He needs to know I'm a ride or die chick and not just going to let him go for some bull." Oh okay.
When did it become acceptable to fight for a relationship when one of the people involved in it is clearly not concerned if you catch the "beatdown" for trying to save something that's not there.
Let's hope that Melanie's song (which is smoking up the Billboard charts) is just that. Or if this was about her, she hasn't dealt with this foolishness since she was a teen. OR better still, this was actually a song of sarcasm that's telling women (and hell men too if you put yourself in this situation) NOT to act like this.
It Kills Me too. For real.
Let's Discuss.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
The Vows: Making Them and Breaking Them
Happy New Year everyone!! I'm going to be way more regular on here and have a slew of topics waiting to be tackled. I need accountability partners (the FP came up with that) so if ya'll don't see me with two or more posts a week, hit me up on Twitter and light a flame up under my butt!
So I was watching "The Jacksons: An American Dream" last night and the scene in which Katherine caught Joseph on the phone with his mistress was on. She'd gone to her mother's house to clear her mind and the impression I got (unless the tv was really watching me) is that her mother wanted her to go on back home, forgive Joe, and just make the marriage work. I think, as I always do when I hear something like this, "So, that's just it, huh? Someone in the marriage cheats - someone breaks the vow - and you're supposed to just get over it?"
Let me start off by saying that I am all for marriage - completely, utterly and overjoyed for people who have found each other and ca stand before whomever they believe in, family/friends and most importantly, each other, to say "We are to be ONE." Now, in traditional wedding vows, the man/woman announce that they take their bride/groom to be their wife/husband and in which, they're "having and holding" and "cherishing each other" til death do them part. GREAT! *insert two thumbs up* In some vows, they also include forsaking all others and a slew of other things. Some who choose non-traditional vows may put some personal notes in there but some way or the other, they have the same general meaning. If that's the case, and you've made the vow to have and to hold, cherish them and forsake all others, why is it that if one breaks the vow, it's now up to the other person to make sure the rest of the vows (primarily the "in good and bad...til death do us part" part) are upheld?
This continues to confuse me. I've known men and women who've had their spouses cheat and everyone tells them, "You need to work it out. Remember the vows you took." I'm sorry, did the man/woman who cheated not take those same vows to be committed to their wife/husband? Why is it that now I'm (obviously not ME but you know what I'm saying) being held responsible for putting the pieces back together? Why is that even though I've lost the trust in the person, I still have to find some more so that we can "make it work?" Where does the man/woman who cheated play a role?
I've asked around and have been told by women, "Men are visual. It's usually just sex - if you can't forgive for one indiscretion then you weren't ready to be married in the first place." *le sigh* Is that it? Does it mean I was never ready for marriage if my husband cheats on me and I choose to not "let it go" and seek to not make it work for the both of us? See, I get confused because if someone cheats on you that one time that you find out about it, are you not now curious about if they've done it before and if so, how many times? Do you not wonder inf they're going to do it again? If you forgive the person for cheating (which by the way, I am NOT trying to suggest that people who have found out their spouse is cheating should just get a divorce - just working thoughts out in my mind), in my mind you CANNOT bring it up again. That's it, you're wiping your hands and slate clean to start from that point and move on.
Men have told me that if their wife cheats, that's IT. There's no going back, there's nothing to work out and in case you don't get the picture, I heard "Maaaaaan, F*CK THAT B!TCH!" Their initial thoughts (whether they go through with it or not) are to leave because their vows have been broken, he can no longer trust her, and she's a hoe. The contrast in response to the exact same situation is interesting.
So when someone says "I DO" and means it but the person who said "I DO" back meant it at the time but somehow lost their way, is it your responsibility to keep it together?
Let's discuss.
Note: I'm sure someone will bring up the topic of "but if they have kids" and that's fine. Include every point you want to make.
So I was watching "The Jacksons: An American Dream" last night and the scene in which Katherine caught Joseph on the phone with his mistress was on. She'd gone to her mother's house to clear her mind and the impression I got (unless the tv was really watching me) is that her mother wanted her to go on back home, forgive Joe, and just make the marriage work. I think, as I always do when I hear something like this, "So, that's just it, huh? Someone in the marriage cheats - someone breaks the vow - and you're supposed to just get over it?"
Let me start off by saying that I am all for marriage - completely, utterly and overjoyed for people who have found each other and ca stand before whomever they believe in, family/friends and most importantly, each other, to say "We are to be ONE." Now, in traditional wedding vows, the man/woman announce that they take their bride/groom to be their wife/husband and in which, they're "having and holding" and "cherishing each other" til death do them part. GREAT! *insert two thumbs up* In some vows, they also include forsaking all others and a slew of other things. Some who choose non-traditional vows may put some personal notes in there but some way or the other, they have the same general meaning. If that's the case, and you've made the vow to have and to hold, cherish them and forsake all others, why is it that if one breaks the vow, it's now up to the other person to make sure the rest of the vows (primarily the "in good and bad...til death do us part" part) are upheld?
This continues to confuse me. I've known men and women who've had their spouses cheat and everyone tells them, "You need to work it out. Remember the vows you took." I'm sorry, did the man/woman who cheated not take those same vows to be committed to their wife/husband? Why is it that now I'm (obviously not ME but you know what I'm saying) being held responsible for putting the pieces back together? Why is that even though I've lost the trust in the person, I still have to find some more so that we can "make it work?" Where does the man/woman who cheated play a role?
I've asked around and have been told by women, "Men are visual. It's usually just sex - if you can't forgive for one indiscretion then you weren't ready to be married in the first place." *le sigh* Is that it? Does it mean I was never ready for marriage if my husband cheats on me and I choose to not "let it go" and seek to not make it work for the both of us? See, I get confused because if someone cheats on you that one time that you find out about it, are you not now curious about if they've done it before and if so, how many times? Do you not wonder inf they're going to do it again? If you forgive the person for cheating (which by the way, I am NOT trying to suggest that people who have found out their spouse is cheating should just get a divorce - just working thoughts out in my mind), in my mind you CANNOT bring it up again. That's it, you're wiping your hands and slate clean to start from that point and move on.
Men have told me that if their wife cheats, that's IT. There's no going back, there's nothing to work out and in case you don't get the picture, I heard "Maaaaaan, F*CK THAT B!TCH!" Their initial thoughts (whether they go through with it or not) are to leave because their vows have been broken, he can no longer trust her, and she's a hoe. The contrast in response to the exact same situation is interesting.
So when someone says "I DO" and means it but the person who said "I DO" back meant it at the time but somehow lost their way, is it your responsibility to keep it together?
Let's discuss.
Note: I'm sure someone will bring up the topic of "but if they have kids" and that's fine. Include every point you want to make.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Is HOME where the HEART is?
I was born in Brooklyn. Moved to Queens when I was three years old. Moved back to Brooklyn somewhere around 12 or 13 years old. I left for fours years to go to college, got the degree and came on back. I'm a New Yorker to my HEART and if you cut me, eight letters may form from the blood: B-R-O-O-K-L-Y-N. Okay, maybe not but living in NYC is like my heart (though I enjoy traveling when I can to see other places).
We were talking today about my co-worker's dream life if she won the lotto. Somewhere along the way, we got on the topic of my dream to live in Westchester County, specifically in Purchase/Harrison, Scarsdale or any of the other REALLY nice towns up there. A co-worker who's from Jersey was trying to convince me that I could live in Jersey with cheaper taxes and be happy. "NO," was my basic response. I could live NYC (albeit not happily) for a job but in my mind all roads lead back here. And so the convo continues between co-worker 1 (the dream lottery winner), co-worker 2 (the NJian), and myself:
Co-worker 2: "What if you meet a guy in BROOKLYN and that's where you thought he was from, ya'll got along, and then you found out he lived in NJ?"
Me: Ummmm, I don't know."
Co-worker 2: But what if he has the house, the this, the that, and wants you to move there?"
Me: What if I have my house in Westchester County? Why can't he move there?
Co-worker 1: No but seriously? What if he wants to stay in NJ or is even from NY and wants to live there?
Me: *sigh* I don't know. I REALLY want to live in NY forever. I REALLY do. Hell, if I can't live in Westchester County, I want to live in Brooklyn Heights. (sidenote: Yes, I know I have VERY expensive living tastes. I KNOW.)
Co-Worker 1: Is it a dealbreaker for you? Can you not marry someone who wouldn't want to live in NYC?
Co-worker 2: Yeah...is it?
Me: *begrudgingly* NO, it isn't a dealbreaker but there needs to be a serious talk about this because this is a serious topic for me.
Co-worker 1: Would you live separately? Like him in NJ and you in NY?
Me: NO! *insert one of lil jokes here*
Co-worker 2: Ahhhh, moving for love...
So I'm thinking about, which I've done before, the idea of moving for love. In my mind, I believe that I could do it if (1) I could find a job comparable to what I have or if it is less, it would be the start of my dream job; (2) I could find my own place and (3) we were REALLY serious, which is one of the most important things. Key word: COULD. But really, WOULD I want to do that? I think I really don't have an answer because my pros and cons list would probably be about even and I don't know what the tipping point would be to make me say yay or nay.
So...what say you?
We were talking today about my co-worker's dream life if she won the lotto. Somewhere along the way, we got on the topic of my dream to live in Westchester County, specifically in Purchase/Harrison, Scarsdale or any of the other REALLY nice towns up there. A co-worker who's from Jersey was trying to convince me that I could live in Jersey with cheaper taxes and be happy. "NO," was my basic response. I could live NYC (albeit not happily) for a job but in my mind all roads lead back here. And so the convo continues between co-worker 1 (the dream lottery winner), co-worker 2 (the NJian), and myself:
Co-worker 2: "What if you meet a guy in BROOKLYN and that's where you thought he was from, ya'll got along, and then you found out he lived in NJ?"
Me: Ummmm, I don't know."
Co-worker 2: But what if he has the house, the this, the that, and wants you to move there?"
Me: What if I have my house in Westchester County? Why can't he move there?
Co-worker 1: No but seriously? What if he wants to stay in NJ or is even from NY and wants to live there?
Me: *sigh* I don't know. I REALLY want to live in NY forever. I REALLY do. Hell, if I can't live in Westchester County, I want to live in Brooklyn Heights. (sidenote: Yes, I know I have VERY expensive living tastes. I KNOW.)
Co-Worker 1: Is it a dealbreaker for you? Can you not marry someone who wouldn't want to live in NYC?
Co-worker 2: Yeah...is it?
Me: *begrudgingly* NO, it isn't a dealbreaker but there needs to be a serious talk about this because this is a serious topic for me.
Co-worker 1: Would you live separately? Like him in NJ and you in NY?
Me: NO! *insert one of lil jokes here*
Co-worker 2: Ahhhh, moving for love...
So I'm thinking about, which I've done before, the idea of moving for love. In my mind, I believe that I could do it if (1) I could find a job comparable to what I have or if it is less, it would be the start of my dream job; (2) I could find my own place and (3) we were REALLY serious, which is one of the most important things. Key word: COULD. But really, WOULD I want to do that? I think I really don't have an answer because my pros and cons list would probably be about even and I don't know what the tipping point would be to make me say yay or nay.
So...what say you?
Monday, December 21, 2009
The Ties That Bind
When I started talking to my first boyfriend, he almost immediately wanted me to meet his aunt (she raised him form a young age after his mom passed). He said I was cool, he was "in love" with me (it's quoted because we were only three weeks in), and that he knew she would like me. I wasn't too excited about because I figured, even at only 20, that meeting parents/guardians was a really big deal. I introduced my parents to my "friend" when I was 18 but that was only because my mother INSISTED; I, on the other hand, was embarrassed that she forced me to do it. Anyway, I met his aunt, she LOVED me, told me I had a good head on my shoulders and thought I'd be really good for her nephew. That relationship lasted throughout the summer. I was good for him but he was NOT good for me.
As I've gotten older, no one has met my mom...because I haven't been in a serious relationship so I don't see the need to introduce her to someone I'm just kickin it with. But when I do, I'm doing it because he is the man I really like and am really serious with. I never thought about, "What if my mom doesn't like him" and how I would react if she didn't. A few weeks ago, a co-worker of mine mentioned that a guy she's dating met her parents and they liked him - which was a good thing because if they didn't, that would have been a dealbreaker. I wasn't shocked because I've known a couple of people in the past who feel the same way but I still responded with, "REALLY??" She said yes and the reason is because she's really close with her family and if they don't like the guy she's with, that would put her in an awkward position about when she would come around and she probably couldn't bring him with her.
Interesting. My mom and I talked about this before because I was telling her a girl I knew was considering ending her "thing" (can't remember if they were just dating or if they were serious) because her parents weren't really checking for him. My mom said, "Well, I know I don't have to worry about you and the idea of you discontinuing dating somebody just because I don't like him. That won't happen." She knows me well. Now, I would definitely find out what it is she doesn't like about him and file it away because quite frankly, we don't often see certain things in our relationships that others can because...hell, we're IN the relationship. But I would not immediately tell the man "Listen lil homie, it's juuuuuust not gonna work" based off what my mom says (unless she has some incriminating, without a shadow of a doubt evidence against him) about him. In my mind, no person is good enough for a parent's child and if they feel so strongly about it, they'll come up with anything to make sure it goes sour.
So, about these family ties - what say you? Can your parents (or guardians - whoever has been that influence to you) not liking who you date affect that relationship?
Let's discuss.
As I've gotten older, no one has met my mom...because I haven't been in a serious relationship so I don't see the need to introduce her to someone I'm just kickin it with. But when I do, I'm doing it because he is the man I really like and am really serious with. I never thought about, "What if my mom doesn't like him" and how I would react if she didn't. A few weeks ago, a co-worker of mine mentioned that a guy she's dating met her parents and they liked him - which was a good thing because if they didn't, that would have been a dealbreaker. I wasn't shocked because I've known a couple of people in the past who feel the same way but I still responded with, "REALLY??" She said yes and the reason is because she's really close with her family and if they don't like the guy she's with, that would put her in an awkward position about when she would come around and she probably couldn't bring him with her.
Interesting. My mom and I talked about this before because I was telling her a girl I knew was considering ending her "thing" (can't remember if they were just dating or if they were serious) because her parents weren't really checking for him. My mom said, "Well, I know I don't have to worry about you and the idea of you discontinuing dating somebody just because I don't like him. That won't happen." She knows me well. Now, I would definitely find out what it is she doesn't like about him and file it away because quite frankly, we don't often see certain things in our relationships that others can because...hell, we're IN the relationship. But I would not immediately tell the man "Listen lil homie, it's juuuuuust not gonna work" based off what my mom says (unless she has some incriminating, without a shadow of a doubt evidence against him) about him. In my mind, no person is good enough for a parent's child and if they feel so strongly about it, they'll come up with anything to make sure it goes sour.
So, about these family ties - what say you? Can your parents (or guardians - whoever has been that influence to you) not liking who you date affect that relationship?
Let's discuss.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
World of WAGs
According to Wikipedia the definitions of WAGs is:
"WAGs (or Wags) is an acronym used particularly by the British tabloid press to describe the wives and girlfriends of high-profile football players, originally the England national football team."
For the purpose of today's blog and any further conversations, we'll use it like everyone else does and use it to talk about the athletes of American sports. By now, we should have all heard that Shaquille and Shaunie O'Neal are separated - which might lead to divorce. Two years ago, Shaq filed for divorce citing irreconcilable differences and then claiming that Shaunie may have been stealing money from. Further gossip began that Shaunie was cheating with a personal trainer. We don't know what's true and what's not but the papers were torn up and they got back together.
But last month, Shaunie dropped the bomb and filed for legal separation from Shaq. Pulled the kids out of school, moved to LA, and has gotten the ball rolling. NOW rumors are running rampant across all industries, all IM conversations and either other corner that you can find that Shaq has been carrying on some affair with fellow NBA brethren, Gilbert Aernas' woman, Laura Govan for YEARS. If you've ever heard any other NBA gossip, then you've heard about Shaq's doing all through Texas and wherever else. But that's not that kind of party on here today.
While using Shaq and Shaunie as the example, there are plenty of other athletes who "do their thing" on the road or at home whenever they get the chance. Some have always been the cheating type and some have never had such open opportunity at many different women and don't know what to do with themselves. Many of these men go on to have long-term girlfriends and some have wives...and many still cheat. The question asked to them is the same that is asked to many of the non professional sports dudes: Why get serious or settle down with someone if you don't intend on being faithful?
Another question and even more of a focus is: WHY do the WAGs get involved knowing the cheating and the rumors are even more likely to happen than with the average Joe Shmoe? Women want their men to be faithful and rightfully so because there's no reason to be in a relationship if that's not going to happen. But some of these women get involved with HIGH profile men having been made of the reputation that precedes them - yet they still get caught up. A lot of the WAGs were very average women (average meaning they were not necessarily trying to make the most of their own lives befofe they met these "wonderful" men) before they met their men so it makes you wonder: did you just want the stature? Let's not forget...the MONEY.
Ahhh, the money and the lifestyle. For sure, it doesn't get past me that this is a way to make some bank and to be "upgraded" from what you used to be. Getting with the right athlete (a lot of times that's actually a baseball player because quiet as kept, that's where the money is) can set you up for quite some time even if you're not together for life...if you're smart. There's bragging involved to friends who haven't been able to "get on their level" because now they hang with stars and people like that. Do the WAGs fall so far in love with the man that they let these things go on? Or is it a little bit of that sprinkled it with a lot of the "life?"
But how many of these women are HAPPY? How many of them are truly cool with knowing (and trust, some of these women KNOW what's going on with their dudes) that their men are doing whomever - wherever and whenever? Names and pictures splattered all over papers and the internet? Family and friends won't stop talking about you and some concerned about your actual being - not just talking sh*t about you. And if you have kids, how long do you keep them involved in the charade who the sake of the "life?" How long does it remain fun?
What about you? Do you honestly think you would have what it takes (I'm talking about mentally) to be a real WAG? Have you put yourselves in the lives of these women and really thought about how far you could go? Would the love keep you there forever?
Discuss.
"WAGs (or Wags) is an acronym used particularly by the British tabloid press to describe the wives and girlfriends of high-profile football players, originally the England national football team."
For the purpose of today's blog and any further conversations, we'll use it like everyone else does and use it to talk about the athletes of American sports. By now, we should have all heard that Shaquille and Shaunie O'Neal are separated - which might lead to divorce. Two years ago, Shaq filed for divorce citing irreconcilable differences and then claiming that Shaunie may have been stealing money from. Further gossip began that Shaunie was cheating with a personal trainer. We don't know what's true and what's not but the papers were torn up and they got back together.
But last month, Shaunie dropped the bomb and filed for legal separation from Shaq. Pulled the kids out of school, moved to LA, and has gotten the ball rolling. NOW rumors are running rampant across all industries, all IM conversations and either other corner that you can find that Shaq has been carrying on some affair with fellow NBA brethren, Gilbert Aernas' woman, Laura Govan for YEARS. If you've ever heard any other NBA gossip, then you've heard about Shaq's doing all through Texas and wherever else. But that's not that kind of party on here today.
While using Shaq and Shaunie as the example, there are plenty of other athletes who "do their thing" on the road or at home whenever they get the chance. Some have always been the cheating type and some have never had such open opportunity at many different women and don't know what to do with themselves. Many of these men go on to have long-term girlfriends and some have wives...and many still cheat. The question asked to them is the same that is asked to many of the non professional sports dudes: Why get serious or settle down with someone if you don't intend on being faithful?
Another question and even more of a focus is: WHY do the WAGs get involved knowing the cheating and the rumors are even more likely to happen than with the average Joe Shmoe? Women want their men to be faithful and rightfully so because there's no reason to be in a relationship if that's not going to happen. But some of these women get involved with HIGH profile men having been made of the reputation that precedes them - yet they still get caught up. A lot of the WAGs were very average women (average meaning they were not necessarily trying to make the most of their own lives befofe they met these "wonderful" men) before they met their men so it makes you wonder: did you just want the stature? Let's not forget...the MONEY.
Ahhh, the money and the lifestyle. For sure, it doesn't get past me that this is a way to make some bank and to be "upgraded" from what you used to be. Getting with the right athlete (a lot of times that's actually a baseball player because quiet as kept, that's where the money is) can set you up for quite some time even if you're not together for life...if you're smart. There's bragging involved to friends who haven't been able to "get on their level" because now they hang with stars and people like that. Do the WAGs fall so far in love with the man that they let these things go on? Or is it a little bit of that sprinkled it with a lot of the "life?"
But how many of these women are HAPPY? How many of them are truly cool with knowing (and trust, some of these women KNOW what's going on with their dudes) that their men are doing whomever - wherever and whenever? Names and pictures splattered all over papers and the internet? Family and friends won't stop talking about you and some concerned about your actual being - not just talking sh*t about you. And if you have kids, how long do you keep them involved in the charade who the sake of the "life?" How long does it remain fun?
What about you? Do you honestly think you would have what it takes (I'm talking about mentally) to be a real WAG? Have you put yourselves in the lives of these women and really thought about how far you could go? Would the love keep you there forever?
Discuss.
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