Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Finding A Way Back

"If I call you, would you call back so I could tell you that I miss you?"*

First thought I had when I heard this was, "Ummm...NO." Why would I call someone back that I was in a relationship that ended for whatever reason just to let them tell me they missed me? We obviously broke up for a reason and these things will inevitably be rehashed so why bother? Then as I thought about it and kept listening to the words that followed the initial question, I wondered if I should rethink my position.

I know of two people who were in a relationship for two years way back when (okay, just early 2000s) and because of immaturity levels on both sides, they broke up. Rightfully so. Fast forward to present day - they've both matured, gone through some good and bad things, and both seem to be in a better place now. In MY mind they're perfect for each other today. But they're exes. And exes are such for a reason, right? The two of them wouldn't be in a horrible place so if all things were aligned (okay, I left out the part that one of them is in a relationship now), would it be wrong for someone to reach to open the lines of the communication if that's what they felt?

I never rekindled anything with my ex (from many moons ago) because he was just way too corny. Even five years after we dated, he would reach out to me with a "Hey shorty, how you doing? I miss you." I'd gotten a cell phone by then to which he didn't have the number to so he would call my mom's house and I didn't recognize the number, so I would answer. Always polite, I would tell him "That's very nice but no thank you...I'm not interested." Before I would hang up, he would express his sadness over my response and I would reply "It's okay. It wasn't meant to be" and just hang up. Did I tell you this relationship lasted all of two months? Yeah, just to say I "had a man."

But really, are there any instances when an ex can reach back out trying to get that "old thang back" (which is virtually impossible and probably not smart considering you broke up)? Should exes be that way forever?

Let's Discuss.

*Note: Apparently my girl Jilly from Philly is performing a new song, "I Love You," on the Maxwell tour which is where the first line comes from. Its pretty dope.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

A Kiss Is Still A Kiss

circa 1993

I'd had a crush on Rebel since I was 12 or13 and though he was the smartest boy in school (he was 15 or maybe 16 in the 8th grade), he was definitely the cutest. I would go home and fantasize about being his girlfriend. One time, I even wrote his name - with GLUE, no less - into the speakers of a small radio in my house. Once I wiped it off, you couldn't see that it spelled anything and I was able to blame it on me dropping glue while doing a project. BACK TO THE STORY. One day, my English teacher sent me upstairs to pick up something from another teacher and on the way back downstairs, I ran into Rebel. Keep in mind, he'd never, EVER said a word to me. But he walked up to me...and kissed me. I was shocked but this was MY moment in time so I kissed him back. Then, he started trying to feel my butt. I got scared. "Why is he trying to touch my butt," I thought. So in true Catholic schoolgirl fashion (yes, I went to Catholic school), I pushed him away and ran back to my class. We carried on with our "never speak to each other thing." I never told any of my friends at the time about my FIRST KISS. Consider yourselves lucky.

circa 1998

The Rock and I had been friends for a few months at this point, with hours of conversation complete with sexual tension and him telling me things in a language I couldn't understand. During our winter break (remember we went to college together), he came over to my house so we could "hang." We stood on the wall next to each other - I was nervous as hell - and then he kissed me on the cheek in order to, or so I think, loosen me up. I gave him a tour and when we got to the bedroom, I looked in the mirror, noticed and noted to him that I thought he was short. "I'm not that short...look," was the reply and then he kissed me. This. Was. It. THIS was the meaning of a real First Kiss. *When we first kissed I was surprised to get...that feeling...the kind you don't wash away with soap* There was a lot going on in that moment but between that particular kiss and those that followed that day and the other days he came over during break, I was being taught by a Master. This sounds over the top, I know, but it is so true. Brothers should thank that man if they knew who he was (yes, that's me giving myself a pat on the back, lol).

And you? Give us a look at your First Kiss. OR, your first kiss with the best kisser you've had. Share!

Note: Anybody know what song that italicized line is from?