Monday, September 8, 2008
Well, What About Them??
When you give good, you get good. I'd like to believe that over the years, I've been a great friend to so many people. Admittedly, all of my friends, with the exception of one, are all from my college years. But, that's never bothered me: the notion that none of my current friends existed before I turned 18. I don't believe that by having friends since kindergarten determines the way I maintain my relationships.
I say all this to say: Two of my most important friendships from college have taken a toll since graduation (well, maybe just the last two years). Primary reasons? All of us living in different states and leading very different lives. From the start, we all had very different personalities which worked and made us the Three Musketeers. Phire moved to Houston last year for a great job after a four year stop in Atlanta, has a two year old daughter, and is currently in a serious relationship. She's doing well for herself. Legacy lives in Atlanta, is a teacher and recently engaged (she'll be getting married in December!). She, too, is doing the damn thing. I, of course, came home to Brooklyn, work hard on pushing this radio and writing thing, I'm single and I play...HARD. I can't complain too much either (another blog doing exactly THAT is coming). We pledged together and some kind of way, our personalities made us way closer than just "line sisters." As evidenced, we are VERY different.
But as I think about it, I wonder if our different lives have pulled us so far apart. Phire is ALWAYS busy being Mommy and I hate to hold her on the phone for fear that I'm keeping her away from doing something "more important" than just chit chatting with me. Legacy has always been her "own kind of girl," with her actions and her style of "dealing" with us. It makes her who she is and we love her for it. I find, however, that she's become more reserved over time - really just doing her own thing and, of course, adapting to her life as a soon-to-be wife. And me? I think I might be considered the "party girl" of our crew. I don't have the same circumstances to hold me back. I come and go as I please, answer to no one, and have no child rearing responsibilities. That's the way I like it even though I think that, subconsciously, they wish I'd live a life similar to theirs and kind of "settle down." But, its not for me right now and I like the pace my life has taken. Actually, we could stand to push the limits a bit and go 60 in a 55mph zone.
We don't ever see each other, sans MY visits to Atlanta (which are currently on cease and desist due to Legacy's indirect refusal to visit). Phire falls into that category too because she lived in Atlanta and never came up here either (though she DID book a flight up here but absolutely could not get out of Houston). So, at times, the phone calls are strained because seriously, how many times can you just talk on the phone. There is so much that goes into friendships and seeing each other from time to time is part of the process. I don't know if they've noticed it, but I have and...well, I don't know what can be done about it. A prior "situation" had two of us at damn near WAR with the other and I think that really affected the way we communicate. It was the first time we'd had an all out argument and I don't know if that was that "straw." Anyway, I'd like to make it better. I'm not at all trying to go back to the way things are because quite frankly, I hate trying to re-hash something that is gone. The first time we'll all be together in over a year will be at Legacy's wedding so I know we won't have time to "kick it." Well, maybe I'm wrong. Apparently, myself, along with a few other friends, have been told (by Legacy, no less) to plan the bachelorette party. I guess we'll see.
The rambling has started so perhaps this is just one of those things I needed to air out. There are other people I'm friends with who, without a shadow of a doubt, I consider my friends so this in no way some kind of slap in the face to them. Its just that Phire and Legacy...well, I just miss them.