Thursday, September 18, 2008

Gotta Make It Do What It Do.

This week has been tough. Hell, let's put it on the table: This week has been a complete and utter disaster...a crisis even. My work, which if nothing else, speaks of my dedication to do a great job, has been on some real live bullshit over the last two or three weeks. U don't know how my boss feels but I feel horrible that I've had to tell him about careless mistake after careless mistake. On Wednesday, after making the same mistake on two of the stations I cover, all I wanted to do was cry. I didn't know what to do with myself. There was no time to cry and even if there had been time, there as no way I was going to let anyone see me break down over this. Lucky was like, "Damn...well you know to do better and you will." FP was like, "Everyone makes mistakes, comes with the job. You just have to work harder." I was with him but had yet to tell him the number of mistakes I'd made or the money involved. But, he tried to make me feel better. They both tried and I appreciated it. I work very hard no matter the job - when I started as the receptionist, when I moved on to HR, and now to my current gig - and not only do I appreciate my own work, but my work ethic is appreciated by everyone. This doesn't usually happen and I don't know what's going on.


Okay, I'm lying...a little bit. At the risk of co-workers seeing this, I'll admit to not being CREATIVELY challenged. But here's the thing: I knew that when I took the job. I understood going in that this should be looked at as a new challenge at the company and an opportunity for me to, once again, learn something new. It was also a way for me to make more money. This was, for all intents and purposes, a win-win situation: I get a new job with more money while you guys get someone who is damn near a workaholic and likes everything to be right. The point was also for me to continue working on my other career goals: (1) working on an aircheck to become an on-air personality and (2) to work on my writing. That number one has been a thorn in my side because I've done nothing with it and that's really bothering even more than it already has been as of late. But, I've finally taken the bull by the horns and should be starting something within the next couple of weeks. My life, as it always does, is about to change for the better!! Anyway, to get myself back on track with this post, I say all this to say that my personal conflicts with my lack of creativity in this position has begun to show in my work and I cannot allow that to happen. Not anymore.

So, I need to bid a partial adieu to working fast just to "get it done: and say, "Heeeeeey, you're back, I missed you!" to working semi-fast but 100% efficient. We really need to get reacquainted before I fuck around and lose my job. WOW, okay so the post wasn't as harsh as I thought it would be (*WHEW*); it was me cursing myself more than it was me talking bad about my job. That's exactly what I was shooting for.

On a lighter note, I had theeeee BEST conversation with a three year old boy on the train yesterday evening - I was on my way home from an "event" with my soror-friends (I'll definitely post on that moment of hilarity). Anyway, shorty-rock and I talked about his monster truck and how him, his toy monster, someone named Haadiyah and I would get in the truck (which by the way had no opening doors) and go get ice cream. YESS, my new BFF is a three year old because anybody who loves ice cream as much as I do is a FRIEND OF MINE. Of course, we had a little "tiff" about who would PAY for said ice cream but he said he would because AMAZINGLY (and not really true)m his school gives him money. He said that his school has a playground and since my job doesn't, I should just come to his school and go to his playground since I was his friend. YAAAAAAAAY!!!! We both got off at the same stop and went our own ways but he was THE highlight of the train ride (aside from the other jokes being made before he sat down next to me). Awwwwwww, Miss BB love the kids!!!

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