First, I do apologize for the neglect! Not only have I been super busy at work and tired as hell when I'm not there...I just haven't had anything to say. But I digress and get to the point.
I was just watching Usher's video for "Trading Places" and singing my heart out as per usual - hitting the high note when he gets to the bridge - and I started thinking, "Oh really Usher??" First, I'm going to assume that he and the lady he's singing to have been together for some time but for the purpose of this here post, we're going to assume they haven't been together for long and this might even be their first date.
Let's discuss etiquette, shall we? While I'm the first to admit that I have never asked a guy out on a first date and don't anticipate doing so despite saying that I would, I find it to be kind of interesting and quite frankly, very bold of women who ask men out on first dates. GOOD FOR YOU!! I'm not knocking it at all because they have the balls to do something I don't...I'm too shy when it comes to men. Personally, I don't deal well with rejection and would be forced to retreat into my hole if he said no.
But anyway, about this "Trading Places" thing. Okay, so I ask you out on the date and say yes...now I gotta come ring the doorbell which is FINE...but I have to WAIT ON YOU? Pause. Fool, I'm a very timely person and if you cannot be ready by the time I get there, I'm going to be pissed. I mean ILL, why the hell can't you be ready when I get there? You're not putting on mkae-up or doing your hair!
So we're leaving for our date...I have to open your CAR DOOR. What the hell? What kind of chivalry were YOU (by the way, "you" is actually the guy being talked about on the date or use Usher if you need a visual) taught. I am NOT opening your damn door - you still need to be opening my door and I can still reach over and open yours. Miss me with it. So let me state that while I do believe that whoever asks the person out on the date is SUPPOSED to be the one who pays, I've never known a man who hasn't paid for a woman...even if she asks him out. So, while you wouldn't be crossed of "the list," I woud most certainly be like, "Is this a test or something? Whyyyyyyyy amI paying for him? I don't care that this is a first date."
What kind of man is this Usher is talking about? I'm thoroughly confused and while I know he says that "You been me...I been you. we gon swtich...this thang back...," I don't like it. NOt one bit. This man sounds either a bit "soft" or like a man who is used to being catered to by some woman or women. I don't have the time off day for it. In a sense, I suppose I'm old fashioned or traditional but I feel some kind of way about the first date. I just don't believe the woman should pay - even if she did ask the man. Oh well and oh well! I mean, I just think that's the way it's supposed to be.
Now, if we've been dating for a little while (no, that does not read "if we've been dating a year," lol), I have absolutely no problem AT ALL with paying for a date. I mean, that's just what's cool for me. Further, I have no problem telling him in a movie how bad I wanna "do him" or "getting on top." I mean, we gotta have some fun, don't we? *wink* That's beauty of dating someone for some time. We get to do things for EACH OTHER...because we want to.
But, the first date and in the very beginning? AB-SO-LUTE-LY NOT. Sue me. Oh well and oh well!