Thursday, December 18, 2008

The M Word.

When I was young, I said I was going to be married by the time I was 25. Two kids before I was 30 so I could be a young mother and STILL FLY. Yessir, I was going to be DOING IT.

By the time I was 17, I wasn't even thinking about that. I was concerned with going to college, starting my career, taking OVER my industry, and doing what I needed to for ME. I figured I would have a relationship or two along the way. To this day, I'm still not pressed about marriage; I would like to be married one day but it isn't at the top of my "Things To Do" list. I believe its out of MY hands anyway and someone else will have a greater plan. I know many women who are on "both sides," some saying "I need to be married" and others like, "Mmhmmph, yeah. Well, WHATEVER."

But what about the men and where they stand on this? I never had conversations with boys when I was in high school (or college, for that matter) which ultimately resulting in them saying, "Yoooo, I'm DYING to find that woman for me and settle down and do the marriage thing." Not once. EVER. While I never assumed that they didn't ever want to be married, I just thought their main purpose in the 18-23 age range was to meet chicks and sleep with them. *shrugs* It just really seemed like their "life mission" and really, that was okay with me if they thought that way.

But getting older, what about the men who have, so they believe and maybe rightfully so, found the right woman and are ready to make it official? *cue Jagged Edge* I mean, they are so serious about it and won't hear of any other conversation unless it is about setting the date. I'm talking about the man who is *no lie* giving his woman an ULTIMATUM. On some, "We been together long enough and I'm ready to make it official....quit bullshitting." In some cases, the couples might be living together or the woman might not be ready yet (true story).

I took this very REAL scenario to my job for conversation with the guys and they were STUMPED. A man giving his girl an ultimatum about MARRIAGE? Unheard of and frankly, quite absurd according to a couple of them. I did get a response which went something like, "Well if I have to offer her a fucking ultimatum about marriage, I need to get the hell out of that relationship." It seems as though, from observation and conversation, that once a MAN is ready for marriage, he has no time or patience for all the other bullshit. They are READY and this is final. No other words to be spoken, no other need for discussion. Let's skip the "small talk" and cut right to the chase.

My opinion: When men are ready, they just are. I think that some men might be so dumbfounded that a WOMAN is not jumping at the offer to "put a ring on it," that they jump with the "Let's do it or let me move on." I think its funny, definitely, but don't know that it is wrong per se, because women do it all the time when they are ready to marry the "man of their dreams."

It sure is interesting.


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