Friday, May 29, 2009

These Three Words

"It's hard for me to express myself cuz I can't protect myself if I'm exposed." -"Crutches" by Britney Wilson, New York City Team, Brave New Voices (HBO)

I received a call yesterday from a friend of a very good friend of mine - let's call him Grind. We used to work together and now that we don't, we haven't seen each other as often; furthermore, he's been going through some things so we haven't spoken as much either. Anyway, after exchanging pleasantries, Grind went in on his reason for the call. He wanted to tell me how much he loved me and cared for me. How it's been so great having a person like me in his life who has always had his back and has been like an older sister to him (we're the same age but you know women mature faster in most cases) and he completely appreciates it. Grind took it a step further with, "I just wanted to tell you that because you never know when something might happen and if it should, whatever God you believe in, we need to make sure we save a seat on the other side of Him." Okay, I was starting to freak out a little bit. Grind has always been one that's a tap emotional (but still manly) but it this phone call was going a bit too far. After he was done (and it was much longer than I've shared here), I told him that I loved him too. Before ending the call, Grind told me that he just thinks people don't share how they feel with the people they care the most about enough and you never know when that person won't be there anymore.

After hanging up and calming myself down from the notion that either someone was about to do something to Grind or he was going to hurt himself (I've got my good eye on it, no doubt), I really started to think about what he said. He's so right that people don't often share their feelings with the ones they love the most as it pertains to their relationship. Unfortunately, we see it all too often at funerals and other sad occasions where people are heard saying "Ohhh I loved him/her so much. They were so good to me" and so on and so forth. Why is it that we think it isn't important to tell the people we love how much we love them while they're with us?

Is it because as we get older, we become less attached to our emotions because we're more concerned about the bigger fish we have to fry? Were any of us taught that showing emotion is "weak" and unnecessary? OR, is it because we're scared that by showing our emotion the person(s) will eventually use it against us? Do we think too hard about what people will do with our information or how they will respond to it? Are we justified in not being able to say "these three words" or a variation of them (FTR, the three words are "I love you").


*Drenna Note* This discussion hits close to me and I'll discuss as ya'll discuss in the comments.


N.O. LADI said...

I think people don't say it enough. Life is short so I agree with your friend. Tell the people you love that you love thme while they can hear you. None of us are promised tomorrow, you know?

LovinMe4Me said...

Sometimes we assume our fam & friends already know we love them so we just go about our days never telling them. Most of us need to get in the habit of doing a love-drive-by, you shouldn't have a reason, just call them up and tell them. Now I know, if someone calls me and say "you know I love you" my 1st reaction will be "OMG, what's wrong". Just smile and go with the moment (unless they ask/tell you something stupid then, you can put them in their place).

(Love ya girl!!)