Thursday, May 28, 2009

I Choose You

Soooo, I'm at the Drake Drizzy show chillin, getting my "SoFarGone" mixtape on. I'm jammin!

*feels a tap on the shoulder a couple of times*

Man: 'Scuse me, Miss. My girl like your ass.

*blank stare*

Me: Uhhhhhh, thanks.

I turn back around to continue to "enjoy" the show (ya'll know I said it was mediocre but ANYTHING was better than what was being told to me). Of course, at this point I feel like there are sets of eyes of on my behind. I know people look but they usually do so in passing - not just right there GAWKING.

*feels a tap on the shoulder again*

I tried to ignore it this time but I felt it again. I turn around and this time it's the young lady, who'd clearly had her share of libations, dancing with her man and motioning me to come grind with them (a la Spectacular from Pretty Ricky. Haven't seen the video? I'll post it at the end). I tell her, "No thanks, I'm good." She's giving me what SHE assumes is the sexual come hither look and says, "You sure? You really sure you good? Werd." In all politeness I can muster, I simply respond, "Yes thank you. I'm GOOD."

So, they leave me alone and "allow me" to watch a little more of the show before he interrupts me again while I'm speaking to a co-worker. And so it goes:

Me: I was speaking to someone, Sir.

Him: My bad...didn't mean to interrupt. My girl is real attracted to you. For real. WE want to know what's up. What's good?

Me: NO. THANK. YOU. I am not interested. NO.

Him: I'm saying though - we wanna know what's up. You just not down or you not attracted to her? I mean, that's a different story if you're not attracted to her.

Me: *deep sigh* SIR, NO THANK YOU. I AM NOT INTERESTED. I'm GOOOOOD.

We're done with this conversation. Well, EYE am done with this. I had no idea that couples who were down with 3somes were just so open like that. They were NOT discreet and quite loud about it. I've been hit on by women before and I'm just NOT interested. I'm never offended and call me vain but since they've ALL always been cahute, I'm quite flattered. *pops a collar* While this couple would've never gotten a whiff of my goodness, they weren't even much attractive to my eye. So YEAH...NO.

The show was about to be over when Miss Girl decided she was going to try one mo' gin. Mmmhmm, I saw her in my peripheral but luckily her man stopped her before she tapped my shoulder (which would have subsequently ended in a SERIOUS miscommunication) and told her, "Nah, she's not interested. She's not down."

Night OVER.

Ya'll have any "almost chose" stories? Hell, have you engaged? SHARE! Remember, you can do it anonymously.

Here's the video of Sassy Spectacular, just pretend it's a girl with all the grinding (though he's dancing like a woman anyway - hope you can see it):


2 comments:

LovinMe4Me said...

1st, the video - HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! I saw that and did he just challenge those dudes to a grinding contest?!!?

2nd, A friend of mine (not someone I know but my peeps) asked me twice to do that. The 1st time I told her "man, get the f**k outta her with that", the 2nd time I said "GET THE F**K OUTTA HERE WITH THAT S**T". Her reasoning was she wanted to do it and she trust me, WTF, I told her, "B****,please, stop now (was that too harsh). I've been approached by couples, chicks and dudes and my first reaction was dayuum you bold. I don't judge anyone on their freakyness, but they need to be careful who they approach.

Call me old-fashion but I love my 1 on 1 time with a man and we can swing around the room alone, no help required!!

XOXO

wynsters the tigress said...

that's too funny!