Okay, let me put it out there:

I haven't been doing a DAMN thing lately except working! Seriously, life has been pretty slow for me for the last couple of months or so. There have been no parties for social purposes, no afterwork events for networking purposes and no "ouuuuuuweeee" soirees for cutie alert purposes. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zero.

What's the problem? I don't know exactly. Not only do I WANT to go out, but I NEED to go out for the serious networking purposes. I've been working a lot and that has made me very tired after the work day is done. VERY tired. There are days now that I can barely go five minutes without yawning. This hustle is SERIOUS. I'm so sincurr.

I went to this NJ Nets event last night with my friend Ladybug and while there weren't too many people there, we had a nice little time. It made me understand fully that I have to get out more. Ladybug is also a GREAT networker and I love going out with her because she inspires me to work on my networking skills.

Anyway, I say all this to say: I must do better. For real. I know it's starting to get cold and all but the cold air has never stopped Miss BB from a party (really only really bad rain and/or snow keeps me away).

So, keep ya girl in the loop on any industry events for networking/semi-social purposes (most know I'm in entertainment so I'm looking for entertainment and sports) and regular ole parties that you think are going to be good.

Good lookin' out!!

For the Record...

I'm back in town!! Homecoming '08 was a complete success and such a good time. I got to see so many people that I miss terribly, including one of my best friends and my goddaughter. We hung up out with my fam on Friday night and as usual, they put on a good party. I swear, when you can't beat that Jackson music, you may as well join them. There was monkey swinging (I think), walking like a dog, and all kinds of other foolishness.

No, there are no stories to tell and no I was not being fresh AT ALL. I did get many, many compliments on the thickness and many requests for a homecoming rendezvous. I turned them down although a couple made me raise an eyebrow like, "REALLY??? As cute as you were in college and weren't checking for me then...so sad you were so dumb." LOL!!! But, it was great!

YES, we won our game in a thrilling end (I was scared for a minute though)!!

No place like home...coming. JSU style, of course!

Homecoming '08!!!!!

Who want it with "The Boom????"



Yeah, I'm headed down to the 'Sip (aka Mississippi for everyone who doesn't know...I guess that'll be everyone who reads this, lol...'cept N.O) for Homecoming '08! Jackson State University, Mississippi's Urban University and Home of the Sonic Boom of the South, is where I rested my head for four years of college. Thee I love my dear old College Home!

I'll be on a flight down to the crooked letter state in about 12 hours and I cannot wait. There is something about going back down there to see people you may not have seen in years. Hell, there's something about seeing people at HOMECOMING that you may have just seen six months ago. As much as I didn't appreciate my time there WHILE I was there, you'd have to pay me not to gush about my school and my "family." I met people while I was there on the first day that are still apart of my life. Far Rock went there. Two of my best friends that I mentioned a couple months ago are my line sisters from when I pledged there. I have family upon family (none blood related but my fam nonetheless) there and I miss them terribly.'

I have the awful dilemma of how to split my time between my frat/sorors and my other crews. Truth be told, I miss THEE party to be at because I was hangin' with my Blue & White family at the gala. I'm taking my gala outfit for the 2nd annual soiree but I don't know if I'll actually make it. My brother already hit me up talking about, "Am I going to see you this weekend" and I do not want to disappoint.

Whatever, I'll figure it out. I won't be at work but for all intents and purposes, this is NOT a vacation! But maybe I'll come back with some stories to tell!

Jackson Fair, Jackson Dear!

Music Snob Review

No, "Good Morning" to YOU, John Legend! And, let me say "thank you." Thank you for pretty much going back to the old voice that you supposedly "lost" and caused you to give us that Frank Sinatra sound on the second album. Thank You for giving me the feeling I felt when I heard "Get Lifted." Good Morning to You!

So let's get into this. The album starts with a "Good Morning" interlude and jumps right into "Green Light." That song, as we all know, is a straight "shake somethin" track and sort of sets the tune for the album. From "It's Over" which features 'Ye (you KNOW he's on this album so don't even start asking "Why does he always have to be on somebody song?) to "whine ya body" track "No Other Love" with Estelle, John gives us quite a few mid to uptempo this time around. I was shaking my head with quite a few "Go 'head then, John" statements throughout the album.

Not to be outdone, you KNOW he made some slow, sweet songs for us to get all Carl Thomasy (read: Emotional) over. "This Time" kicks it off by telling the story many of us know all too well: This time I want It All/Showing You all of the Cards/Giving You all My heart/This time I'll take the Chance/This Time I'll be your Man/I can Be All You Need/This time Its All of Me. We've heard it all before but John makes it sound SO sincere this time. Now, I don't know if "Good Morning" is something he's telling the lady before or after he tells her the lyrics in "This Time" but I love it all the same. The song is very laid back and you can very easily have this playing as "mood music" and the rest will be all up to your and your lady/gentleman friend. Then finally, even in his "We Are the World Moment"on "If You're Out There," he is right on the money.

Now, there ARE a couple of "misses" for me. I could really do without "Satisfaction." There just really is nothing about the beat that I like and it sounds like John is trying to act like he has some mean swag" in the song. I dunno...I just think we could have had a replacement. Also, while I completely ADORE the lyrics on "I Love, You Love," I really don't like how he sings the song. The background vocals are pretty good though.

Let's end this on a good note because I REALLY enjoy this album. The filler songs (check out "Quickly" with Brandy, "Take me Away," and "Everybody Knows") fit in very well and are pretty hot. The "hush hush" songs (aka the bonus tracks) are cool and I actually like the Teddy Riley remix of "It's Over" better than the original version. I think my favorite tracks right now are...nah, I'm not going to even do it. I really like SO MANY SONGS on this album that I can't pick one.

Pick it up in stores Tuesday, October 28th!!!! It DEFINITELY gets the Music Snob Stamp of Approval (just envision it because I don't have an actual one right now).

My Queens Connection

*WARNING* I've previewed the post and its long. I guarantee this is a good read but if you don't have time, stop now. Don't say I didn't warn you...

I met Far Rock when I was 18 and a freshman in college. I'd seen him walking around the campus before and thought he was from NY (we went to school in Mississippi) but didn't know for sure until we officially met. He worked in Admissions and saw my name and home address so he sent a letter to my house in Brooklyn which my mom read to me. The first time we spoke was over the phone and for three hours. We finally met up at our campus' pool hall and as soon as I met him, I "knew." I was quite the late bloomer and didn't involve myself in boys in high school so it was not hard to tell that Far Rock would be my first...everything. I'd kissed a boy when I was 14 but I was GROWN now and kissing is quite different in college.

We were friends. As part of the "NY Crew" which consisted of only like six people, including me who was the only girl and the only one from Brooklyn, we were all very cool. Far Rock and the NY Crew were also part of a bigger "clique," that included my brother (we're not blood but we've been claiming each other for 10 years so people believe us) and my cousin (same thing as my brother), who DJed around the city and were VERY popular. I'm rambling...let's get back on track.

Far Rock and I would talk for HOURS about everything and though we would get "fresh" on the phone (he's Haitian and would get really beside himself in Creole), I loved that he was my friend more than anything. I didn't know when but I knew that being a virgin for much longer was NOT going to be in my cards. When we came home for Christmas, he came to my house to see me a few times and we'd get to whatever base that is that consists of kissing and heavy petting (what a slowpoke I was...that's probably first base). It was VERY cool. Once break was over, my mother got me on the pill because she's no dummy and knew what was bound to happen. Three weeks later, it did. I didn't know any better at the time so I thought that having sex with someone now changed the nature of your "Friendship." I asked him "what this meant" and he told me that we were still friends. First lesson learned.

I would learn so much from him over time. The weeks following our "encounter," he wouldn't call as much and my feelings would be hurt. Mama BB told me that I was wasting too much time on him and if I had a problem with the way he treated me, I would need to speak up. I did but not much changed so our friendship suffered within about a month or two. We pretty much stopped speaking until August when we tried to be friends again. But it wouldn't get easier. As fate would have it, I was roommates with the girl he was dating at the time and would be come his girlfriend the same year and later his fiancee (they didn't marry). Yeah, tough times indeed. Because of the situation, we never really became friends again.

Senior year was when we started to get "back to the middle." My parents were divorcing and not only had he met them, he'd heard me talk about how I wished that would have happened years ago. He was around to listen and if he wanted to talk about anything, I was there as well. He was still with his girlfriend at the time but we were cool and we spoke for awhile after graduation. Convos started to be more infrequent since he was engaged at that point. No hard feelings here though because I was happy for him. Plus, we always made the joke that we'd probably always fall back into our "comfortable" state (minus sex) unless one of us got married. LOL!! So, we stopped speaking for awhile.

A couple years later, he sent me an IM on Yahoo and since he didn't get married and they'd broken up, we were comfortable again. He spent a few years after graduation in MS but had recently come back home to NY for a "change." Neither of us were working at the time and since Far Rock is a workout buff, he was actually my trainer for a few months. It reminded me of old times...in EVERY way. Alas, it would come to an end because soon after we started training, I got a job at my current company.

We'd still talk and all was still good. I always looked out for him if I could and I loved the friendship that we'd grown to have. A few months later, however, I noticed that we were regressing. Like many who met me when I was 18, Far Rock still saw me as that girl and not the then 25 year old woman I'd become. I didn't always feel like he respected me and that was a problem. In my mind, that was never going to change so on Mother's Day 2006, I ended our "relationship." To me, my feelings being as hurt as they were came close to a heartbreak. I loved Far Rock as a friend for eight years and didn't see how we could not be friends anymore. Still, it was what was necessary for me to take care of myself. He'd taught me alot about men and whether or not he knows it, Far Rock has taught me just about everything I need to know about bullshit when it comes to guys. I know everything I do because of him and some of his ways. I even loved him for that. During the breakup, I told him I loved him and didn't want to do it this way but I had to. He responded that there's no way I could if I was going to end the friendship. He told me if I really felt that way then there was nothing else he could do, told me to tell my mom happy mother's day for him and told me to "be good." WHAT?! You're not going to fight for this friendship that was so special to ME???? In that moment, I believed that the only one who thought we had a real friendship was me.

We've seen each other over the last two years at parties and I've always been cordial because despite the "breakup," I've never hated him. Also, I was no longer mad so why act like it? A couple of months ago, he sent me a message and told me that although we don't speak he thinks of me often and considers me a friend. Further, he said I've remained the same person at heart and he admired me for that. Could it be? Was Far Rock having a "near 30" breakthrough and saw that he lost a true friend? No matter the reason, I responded and told him that we could definitely work on becoming friends again. I saw a new person - a person who saw me as a now 28 year old woman and I appreciated that.

But, Far Rock might think he's going to get comfortable again. He told me last week that maybe during homecoming (next week...let's go Tigers!!), I could come "hook up with him." Have I been punked? I thought that we were just trying to be friends again. I ended the friendship for a reason two years ago and am not willing to go back down the road of plain ole familiarity. Am I thinking too much? Should I just allow him to be my ESIG? Though we've had a 10 year roller coaster ride, I've learned to take away the emotion. But still, those are some long ties and I don't think or know that is necessary.

In any case, I'll keep you posted. Sorry for being so long but this has been on my mind. I'll have some real light hearted stuff later.

Goodness...this Queens Connection.

TAG, I'M IT!

Sooooooo, I got hit with the "infamous tag." I don't know WHY Janelle had to pick me when she KNOWS I'm new to this. Hell, I'm not going to even be able to follow all the rules. But, here we go:

1. Link back to the person who tagged you (CHECK!)
   


2. Mention the rules on your blog (CHECK!)
   


3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours (I'm getting to it...see below!)
   


4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking to them (I can't...don't even KNOW six bloggers!)
   


5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged bloggers blogs letting them know they've been tagged (See #4)
   


6. You can now display this charming dalek image i created when tagged! (Will do in a minute!)

Umm, well...alright. I'm going to just do what I can:

• Before I go to bed, I have to flip through every channel on my cable to make sure I don't miss anything.
• I mix ketchup and tartar sauce when I eat any fried seafood as my "cocktail sauce."
• I've never been in a fight in my life (I'm a Brooklyn girl so this IS quirky).
• I never saw the play "Cats" because I was always scared of how the cats looked in the commercials. Even when my mom wanted to take me when I became an adult, I passed. Funny thing is, I sat at the end of the row when I saw "The Lion King" and was scared of the "animals" that came down the aisle.
• Everyday when I come home, I change from my "good" glasses into my "play" glasses. If you don't know what I mean, its very similar from changing from your school clothes into your play clothes.
• I can't cook everyday food but I PUT ON for some holiday food. No for real, I make real good holiday meals, minus the meat b/c I'm not touching turkeys and stuff.

Welp, I'm done and have no one to tag but I did it! Oh, almost forgot...

Ask About Me!

I don't know if I've ever mentioned how long I've procrastinated in getting my career going. Oh wait, I think I did it in a past post.

Anyway, I bring that up now because there may be times between Monday and Wednesday that I do not post. I may have a lot to say but the reality is that I'm so tired these days that I might not be able to keep my brain on focus long enough to get out a full thought. I've been wanting to be on the radio since I was about 13, with only a couple of career alternatives (record label exec and entertainment lawyer...all still dealing with entertainment and music) in between. So, the fact that I'm 28 and so far behind boggles my mind.

Not anymore! Since last week, I've been coming to the station overnights two nights a week in order to learn more about running boards, doing breaks, etc. My goal is to make sure I'm kind of comfortable understanding how the jock works so I can do my own aircheck, let the PD and APD/MD listen to it and give me some constructive criticism so I can send it out. On those two days, I get like three hours of sleep in the early evening, get up to eat and pick out my clothes for the next day and leave for work at like 11:15 to be there at midnight. I work until 5am, come back to my desk to sleep for a couple hours, and then do my regular days' work. I'm BEAT as I type. I mean, I am sooooo sleepy right now that I'm only blogging at work because I'm trying to keep my eyes open.

Oh, on top of that, I'm still trying to get my write on. In case you didn't know, I'm one of the writers for The Career Magazine which is an online HR magazine (check it out: http://www.thecareermag.com), where I give an "introspective" or "inspirational" point of view on careers. I'm looking for other opportunities to build up my writing portfolio as well. SO, with that in mind, if you see something...say something (shouts to the MTA for that one).

Last but not least, my friend Ladybug and I are possibly starting something else that I don't want to mention yet. Our schedules are crazy but when we commit to something, we blow it out the water!

I'm hustling...on a grind! I'm trying to hard not to let ME get in my own way. If I had the money to get down to ATL this weekend for the taping of the BET Hip-Hop Awards, I'd be there for the networking. Okay okay, I'd be there to party too but let's not lose focus of this post! LOL!!

I'm trying to put myself in a position where failure *as I see it* is NOT an option. As FP once told ME, "Better get on my train before I pass you by."

Yeah yeah yeah...I hear you, man!

It could be the Okie Doke...Let's Hope Not!

So, I know I haven't said much about him since the first time I mentioned him but I wanted to say that FP and I are as cool as always. I've done a very good job of readjusting (NOT, let's be clear, getting rid of...by ANY means) my feelings for him and I'm proud of myself. I actually think this is better for me because now, we can keep developing this friendship that I want to, no matter what, hold on to for as long as we can have it.

ANYWAY, he's supposed to be coming up here. Excited much? Simmer down! He's not SUPPOSED to be coming up here until February 2009. See, last year I decided close to the last minute that I wanted to see the Knicks (my FAVORITE team, no disses in the comments section please) and the Celtics play so that I could root for my team AND root for my baby, KG, at the same time. FP was supposed to come but since they only had nosebleed seats, I changed my mind and vowed to go next season.

I missed the pre-sale and so even though I don't have the seats I want, I got another pair of decent seats (according to Lucky, she's a ticketnista...worse than me!) and soooooo, FP said he's going to come. I've decided that, despite how I want to react, I will not get overly pumped up about this impending visit because...what if he doesn't show up? I'm excited that he MIGHT be coming up here (someone tell him to buy a ticket sooner rather than later) because I haven't seen him in almost a year at this point. Plus, I'll get to see an NBA game for the first time in like 20 years with someone whose real cool peeps.

Now, I will not be set up for the okie doke because I'm "too cool" for that. LOL!! Well, I can't let it show anyway. Once I see him at the baggage claim, THEN I'll officially be excited. If he doesn't come, he'll owe me the price of that Knicks ticket (it'll be my treat if he does come). WE SHALL SEE!!


Oh and by the way, I've been told by one of my good friends that if I let him go without having had "crown royal on ice" an attempt of the aforementioned statement, she won't speak to me for about a month. Ain't that something!!!??!?!

Good Girl Gone Bad? Oh Yeah??

I've been known to be a "good girl." When I ask why they say this, its because, "You just LOOK real innocent" or "You seem too...classy to be anything else." Well, alright. I'm not perfect and I know I've done a couple of things that don't make me happy, but otherwise, I do alright in my journey to "the gates." Either way, I'll take that "good girl" appearance thing. I like to think I was raised right and with some morals that kind of seep through my body. Therefore, when I've done wrong and do wrong, or what EYE consider to be "wrong," it eats at me.

A situation keeps presenting itself to me maybe every two months or so. From here on out the situation will be know as such (situation) or "it." It first came up back in like early June and I, by admission, have played into it...A LITTLE BIT...here and there. The situation can be fun - actually, more exciting than anything - seeing as though I first became aware of my thoughts in terms of it way before it became aware of me. I push myself to very close to the edge of the situation without actually going completely overboard. Why? Well, because there's another portion of the situation that I'm not too clear about and unless it BECOMES clear and to my liking, I just play only so far. Hell, even that's wrong but I call myself not doing anything bad because I only speak at/of/to (obviously I don't want to say it all so you choose the word you want so it makes sense to you) the situation. It may be fun but its risque(I have NO IDEA how to put an accent over a letter using this damn keyboard) and its NOT right based on the non-clarification of the other portion. Get it? Got it? Good. If not, DAAAAAAAMN...keep up and study reading between the lines for goodness sake.

I'd like to act on the situation. SERIOUSLY. But this business of regretting my actions and feeling bad really fucks with me. I was talking with my "board fam" about it a little and while some are like "You sure you'd feel bad? How do you know," others were like (primarily Lucky), "I feel you...I get." Lucky DOES understand because we agree on A LOT of life things. But it sucks, a little bit, to always WANT to do the right thing. I don't have to do the right thing...I jsut WANT to. It's so much easier to just "do what you want" and "live a little" and hell, it sounds good. But dammit if it ain't HARD AS HELL to live your life somewhat right!! Now hell, everybody is doing SOMETHING wrong in life but I do not want to do something that, contrary to "popular belief," is obviously not right. So, I tried to put a clamp on the situation without completely ridding of it due to other VERY important reasons. We'll see how that works.

When am I going to be able to do something CRAZY...and NOT feel bad? Real Talk...I need to KNOW. I want to knwo when I'm going to do something and be like, "OH WELL OH WELL. Yeah girl...you DID that shit." LOL!! When all you know is RIGHT, can you ever JUST throw caution to the wind??

Should you even want to? Would I ever want to? Is it ever even worth it...in the bigger scheme of things?

Ya'll aren't even MISSING ME!!!

Hola party people!

I just wanted to stick my head in real quick. I've been around but where have YOU been? I don't think I've gotten any comments all week! *cue the violins*

LOL!! Work has been really hectic and as per usual, I'm trying to learn something new. I had a topic ready to be blogged about but I'm sleepy as HELL and now I can't remember what I was going to say. DAMN! Anyway,..

OH SHOOT, it just came back to me!!

But, I'll save it for tomorrow when I catch a break. I might even have TWO posts for you.

I'm Going to Need a Second Wind

My brother moved to Syracuse back in January to be with his then pregnant girlfriend and he came back to Brooklyn for the first time last week. My nephew, whom I last saw when he was three months old when my mom and I went up to Syracuse for a visit, came down with him and he's now a whopping eight months old. They stayed with my mom and since I live only down the block, I went up a few times for a visit.

After he finally got used to me, this boy ran me RAGGED!!! My mom, being the excited grandma she is, went and bought a walker...among other things. He LOVES his walker and it showed. we ran up and down the hall, I pushed him through my legs and just all over the place. When he wasn't in the walker, I was trying to increase his motor skills (he had a few problems when he was born but he's fine now. I'm just like "Mommie Dearest" and I think he can do more), helping him crawl (okay yes, I was trying to encourage him to walk), and I was trying to teach him how to nod "yes" because he is quite well-versed in how to shake his head "no."

He's on a late night schedule where he goes to bed with my brother around 1am and wakes up at 11a for the day. Why this type of schedule? I don't know and I don't like it but I'm not the parent here. Anyway, by the time I would get to see him around 7p he was BEAT but this is THE nosiest baby I've met. He'd be up at 9:30 and I would be saying my goodbyes because, quite frankly, he was making me tired. I couldn't even really hang.

Now, I LOVE kids and by kids, I mean those under 18. Even those hard-headed, knucklehead teenagers that irk all our spirits so much. When I see the babies and the younger kids, I usually have a ball with them and have a running joke where I say, "I'ma get me one!!" Of course, I'm not "there" yet but I do hope to "get me one." Mama Brooklyn Blue (read: my mother), I think, is ready because when I used to make that statement she would give me the side eye and say "mmhhmm...okay." I said it like a month or so ago and she said, "OKAY!!" all excited and stuff. No Ma'am!! Lest I forget that she asked me if I'd ever have a baby by someone we all know (figure it out...I'm not saying because I'm releasing this blog address to a few more people soon). *shock* What ever Mama Brooklyn Blue - I'm still trying to wrap my mind around keeping up with a nephew I don't even see often (they left Friday).

What am I going to do if/when I'm blessed to have my own children? I have to work a full-time job and then come home and work the second job?? I don't think I'm ready!!!

Godspeed to all the good parents, guardians, step parents, helpers of parents, teachers....whoever and WHEREVER!!!