How do you know when someone of another race is testing you to see how far they can go before you check them and when they're just aloof and don't know any better?
My co-worker, a white girl from Long Island, and I were talking a couple of weeks ago about some girly thing or another and hair ended up being the topic of discussion. Now, I'm a natural girl and let me tell you, life for me ain't been no crystal stair when it comes to this hair. So for a couple of weeks, I was rocking my Rita Marley - a lil mesh cap - over my hair with a little afro puff coming out on the side. I was telling her that I don't have long hair but it is thick so I have to be in the right mindframe to do it; for her part, she told me that she hates blowing out her hair. But to the end of that she added, "...but, and I hope you don't get mad, it wouldn't be as hard as dealing with you hair." I cocked my head to the side but let it go because maybe she just said that based on me talking about how thick my hair was. Right?
Fast forward to yesterday.
We were talking about a wedding I'm going to soon that's apparently on her side of town when the topic switched over to the best and worst weddings/receptions we've been to. I shared with her the ugly details surrounding a particular wedding I went to and she told me the worst one she's been to. At the end of her story she goes, "But I mean, and no offense, the one you talked about just sounded ghetto. The one I went to was cheap but what you're talking about is just..."
Being the professional I am, I cocked my head and said, "Yeaaaahhhhh...no. Ghetto isn't the word I would use. Why not cheap like you said about the wedding you attended? The circumstances were worse but all a result of the bride and groom being cheap. So ghetto...no so much." She immediately goes, "No no, I don't mean like that but I mean, you get where I'm coming from. Cheap is the better word though, you're right." She moved the conversation along and then went out for lunch.
Is she testing me? Cruisin' for a bruisin? Or is she a white girl from Long Island whose only ever really been surrounded by white people from Long Island and doesn't know any better?
Either way, I think it's time to put her on ice for a bit because no matter the reason, she's gotten beside herself.
What say you?