Thursday, January 7, 2010

Love Is A Battlefield...

But does it have to be?

"Trouble in my life
Problems when you don’t come home at night
But when you do you always start a fight
But I cant be alone , I need you to come on home
I know you messin around, but who the hell else is gonna hold me down" -Melanie Fiona, "It Kills Me"

This song, though I admittedly really like it (and probably moreso because of the WAY she sings it), gets on my damn nerves. This child is pulling herself into a deep depression over a man doesn't come home and when he does, starts a fight with HER. But she refuses to leave him because she is scared to be single. In the words of Twitter (and someone who I think made a song of the same name), #wheredeydothatat? Why in the world is a grown woman screaming from the rooftop (and now, Melanie is just the messenger because even if she were the one really acting like this, she wouldn't be alone) about how her man is CLEARLY doing her wrong but she can't leave him? We aren't embarrassed about things like this anymore?

Oh, but it gets better (same song):

"Should I grab his cell, call this chick up
Start some shhhh then hang up
Or I should I be a lady
Oohh maybe cuz I wanna have his babies
Ohh yah yahh cuz I don’t wanna be alone
I dont need to be on my own
But I love this man
But some things I cant stand..."

So now we're going to call up the jumpoff and start a fight with her. Right or wrong, the man in the situation is who needs to be dealt with. What part of the game is it that we as women must put with any type of disrespect just to say that we "aren't single?" What is the purpose of fighting for a relationship that TRULY only one of you are committed to being in? The answer seems to be somewhere along the lines of "He needs to know I'm a ride or die chick and not just going to let him go for some bull." Oh okay.

When did it become acceptable to fight for a relationship when one of the people involved in it is clearly not concerned if you catch the "beatdown" for trying to save something that's not there.

Let's hope that Melanie's song (which is smoking up the Billboard charts) is just that. Or if this was about her, she hasn't dealt with this foolishness since she was a teen. OR better still, this was actually a song of sarcasm that's telling women (and hell men too if you put yourself in this situation) NOT to act like this.

It Kills Me too. For real.

Let's Discuss.


Anonymous said...

listening to this song reminds me of the women in my family. Married or dating men that have women on the side, don't come home, the works. But they won't leave and will "fight" for the relationship just so they won't be alone. They will "fight" because they are older and don't want to "die alone" or feel like they are at a place in their life where they should be "on the path" to marriage. To me, the "alone" thing is nothing more than insecurities, and they really do fear being alone. But what they don't realize is when you are in a relationship like that, you will ALWAYS be alone, because you are the only one "fighting" for it! And that's sad!

LovinMe4Me said...

I love the song but like you I can't stand what she is saying (although she sings the HELL out of it).

It reminds me of some women I know who are married or in relationships with men they know are stepping out on them.Some have the nerve to tell me "It's in a man's nature and as long as I don't see it, I'm good" WHAT THE PHUCK!!

I'm not judging these women but what does it say when you know he's cheating and you're willing to fight to keep him. What exactly are you fighting for. And I'm not referring to the men who have their 1 (and hopefully) and only infidelity, admits it and him & his wife work on repairing the marriage.People are human and they make mistakes. I'm talking about the repeat offenders (see Maury, Cheaters,Jerry Springer and Ricki Lake).

BottomLine,women know your worth. Stop Ringing the Alarms & Letting it Kill you.


BrooklynBred is... said...

*changed my name up a bit but its me, Miss BB...owner of this here blog, lol*

I sing this song with my whole heart in it...but it means nothing to my life. I've never said I don't judge people because I know I do to an extent - I just don't know how a woman can feel okay with herself living this type of life.

I want us to get to a point where YES we want and have a need for a man...but not ANY man. I want us to make ourselves better women so that we get to a point where we will only accept good men.

Kenda said...

With age, hopefully comes wisdom. I've never been the woman to call chicks up and/or fuss and fight in the street especially not over a man. I LOVE Melanie's songs. Its good material becasue we know the woman in the song. Hell, some have been that woman. But, I'm old enough to know that it isnt love. If he loves me, I wont have to fight other chicks to prove it. Settling for a "piece" of man is not an option in my book. Nor should it be in anyone else's either IMO.