Sunday, January 17, 2010

Game. Set. Match.

"I know you don't believe in fairy tales but let me be your knight in shining armor. All you have to do is get up in the morning and I'll do the rest." - Shemar Moore, Diary of a Mad Black Woman

Okay, now that you've read that line or remember even more mushy lines from the movie, how many of you all said, "Awww that's sweet." *looks around and waits*

Well, okay then. Who laughed? Snorted? Rolled their eyes? It wouldn't surprise me if you just laughed at those questions...probably because that's exactly what your reaction was to that line. Orlando (Shemar's character) seemed really sincere in professing his love for his woman and in defense, this was the beginning of his marriage proposal. So let's back up a bit.

Let's assume two people meet and there's enough of an attraction and initial likeness for one another that they can go out on a date. Like most dates, there are lots of compliments being handed out in the midst of having conversation - often times coming from the man to the woman. Date's over, you've enjoyed yourself and while you don't see each other for a few days, you speak regularly on the phone. This man can throw a compliment like nobody's business! Now, it sounds good to you but at some point do you start thinking "Here goes...trying to drop that game."

Game. This is what ruins most of the intimate interaction between two people because one usually thinks the other is dropping too much of it. Most times, we as women can only take so many compliments before we wish he'd "cut it out and stop trying so hard." If he calls on the regular (like we always wish but can somehow never seem to meet the guy who'll do that), wants to go out, AND keeps the compliments coming? Oh, we LIKE it but for some reason, many of us are waiting on the other shoe to fall and let the man's "game" fully reveal itself. But how do you know that it's game because what he says and does is not what you're used to hearing and seeing? How can you tell the difference?

When do we cut some slack? And if every man you meet is someone you think is running game, how is it that you see through clearly to the one who isn't try to beat you with it?

Let's discuss.


Marshie said...

Ok, whoa!! I went through this exact situation. From the very first day D and I meet in November I have been showered with daily compliments, weekly warm bubble baths, concerns about the kids and I well being and talk about me being "the one". For the better half of the relationship, I expressed my concerns about D being "too nice" to my girlfriends. I was overly concerned about him being too good to be true. He is what every girl dream a man will be. I patiently waited for D to mess up, to show his true colors. I finally had to come to realization that we as women dream of our knight riding in on his white horse to rescue us from the other men that are not up to par. I had to let go of my own personal insecurities and allow this man to be what I've been searching for. I had to allow my heart to love and get use to the fact that this man is being exactly what a man is suppose to be. I had to realize that what I've experienced is not the norm this is what love is suppose to look like. So I say, I came to the conclusion that deserve healthy, real, honest, pampering love and I'm only reaping what I've sown.

Excellant one Drenna!!!!

Kenda said...

I know that I've had my hfair share of game running men in my life. I am sort of a skeptic. The core group of my friends are male and I've watched them run game so smoothly on females. It's hard for me to open the door and let a sincere dude in. I've learned that the wall I built around my heart to protect me also keeps men from coming in as well. I have a friend who compliments me endlessly and sincerely. It took so long for me to fully believe this man's words. Yes, this man believes that I'm that smart, that cute, that funny, that insightful, that loving, that bright, that sexy, that great. He does. And, why shouldn't he?? *tooting my own horn* :) Sometimes we get so clouded by the "game" that we forget that this is real life we're in.

ITA, great topic, Drenna!!

K*Mack said...

First let me say that that Shemar Moore line had me weeping bc it's the type of thing I WISH a dude would say to me but if one ever does...the question then becomes will I even believe that.

All the armour I have surrounding my heart along with the plexiglass, bulletproof vests, steel walls among other barriers do not let me even think about letting ppl..moreso..MEN in bc I have heard soooo much "game". Hopefully if I ever do cross the path of the one I am meant to be with I will know and will atleast try to let him in.



*great topic

LovinMe4Me said...

Sometimes we let those past players cloud our judgement so not only do we not give a man a fair chance,we're also giving him the "yeah dude you trying to smell my vicki's" side eye.

Also as it was stated we get so caught up in our own insecurities we automatically think a man is lying.

BottomLine,we need to start taking the compliments and be secure in ourself to know it is true (unless he says some off the wall mess then you know better).Besides it's nice to hear them from time to time ;)