Sunday, April 5, 2009

Seven Year Itch

A couple of friends and I took on First Saturdays at the Brooklyn Museum last night and while I see how much fun it could be, we clearly got there late so we couldn't enjoy it as much as we could have. We'll be back though! Alas, that is not the topic today.

Along with my two friends and I was a guy who went to college with them. As soon as I saw him, he reminded me of someone who is considered "weird," so I unfortunately was giving him "the look" from the jump. Let me say, he gave me good reason to do so not two blocks away from my house in the car. In sticking with the topic, I won't even go into that topic but I was giving him SERIOUS side eye. Anyway, after we finally got back to my friends' apartment, the conversation (as it often does) went into relationship talk. After he told us that he felt that if two people have a child or children, they need to stay together - NO MATTER the circumstances - he told us that people "wild out" because it's so easily accepted in society. People aren't honest with themselves in relationships...

That is why he has to be in a relationship for SEVEN YEARS before he thinks about marrying a woman. I was appalled for lack of a better, stronger word. I asked him what purpose that serves and he explained to us that it is because after seven years, he knows that no stone will be unturned and he will know all secrets there are to know about her. I explained to him that some people take "secrets" to the grave and in that instance, he would never know. This young man told me that it would not happen to him because of his "sixth sense" about these things. I told him that it sounded quite silly and almost disrespectful that he would put this type of time frame on a woman just so she could prove herself "worthy" of a ring. After him saying that I was crazy for thinking that is a long time to be in a relationship (I do think it's a long time for a bf/gf relationship but not a marriage), we both agreed that I would NEVER be the woman for him.

Seven years?? REALLY? This got me to thinking about how many other people feel that you have to be in a relationship forever before you decide to consider marriage (for the people who want to get married anyway). At this stage in my life, I feel that two to three years is long enough for us to be in a relationship to where we start discussing possibly going to the next level. That might not be right either but SEVEN YEARS ? That just seems wrong to me.

I'm going to start polling people, especially men, to get their opinions. But what do you guys think: Do you have to be with someone for years and years before you will consider marrying them?

Speak on it!


N.O. LADI said...

7 years??? That is a ridiculous amount of time to be in one placein a relationship. Upward progression is what is expected in my life. 7 years in, he & I need to be celebrating x amount of years married. I think dude will be perpetually alone. Lol!

LovinMe4Me said...

7 @%$&in' YEARS, gurl please. NEWSFLASH to that dude, you'll never never ever get to know a person completely. You learn something new about a person everyday. If he finds a woman willing to be with him for 7 years before he puts a ring on it, kudos to him then. Of course, people should get to know each other 1st before making the move to marriage 2, 3 4 yrs is fine. But 7 yrs, I think that's a bit too much.
I wonder what are his thoughts on living with someone before marriage?

Lord, maybe that dude needs some XOXO (not from me of cours :)

wynsters the tigress said...

7 years is completely unreasonable and unrealistic. way before then, you should know who you're dealing with and whether or not you want to move on to marriage...