Saturday, April 4, 2009

Live YOUR Life

An old college friend sent me a text out of the blue two weeks ago. I haven't spoken to her in years and so I was surprised to hear from her but I've been missing her like crazy so I was super excited. Turns out, she was mad at me because I turned down the offer to be in her wedding. Not true but that's neither here nor there.

During our text convo, she asked me who my "new boy" was (read: "who is your new man?"). I told her that I was single and just hanging out here and there. She replies and I quote, "That is a damn shame. You're getting too old." EXCUSE ME?? *picture the ILL neck roll right here* My defenses immediately go up and I say, "That is NOT a damn shame and there ain't shit wrong with being single." I was completely offended by that rude comment because (1) who just SAYS that and (2) what makes her the authority?? I should point out that she is 28, married and has two children so I guess that's what makes her think she is the authority.

I was pissed because I enjoy my life as it is (hell, I DO admit to needing to date more) and don't appreciate someone judging it because it doesn't follow where they are in their life. As much love as I have for her, we haven't spoken in about three or four years so she doesn't know what's going on with me; in fact, I questioned the real purpose of this surprise text. The truth is, after she said that, I didn't have any real interest in continuing the conversation for the evening.

Unfortunately, she isn't the only one who feels that if you're 30 (or close to it like me and most of my friends) and single AND childless, your life is basically not worth living. Kick the bucket. Roll over and DIE. I've had countless friends, associates and friends of friends who have live by this rule - they either own up to subscribing to this thought or they think it subconsciously. Sometimes, I wonder if that's why some of them are married and/or have they won't fall into that group of people they feel so bad for. Are they TRULY happy in their situation or are they learning how to be happy in their situation because they think they're supposed to be living that life?

Far be it for me to judge them...and damn sure far be it for them to judge me. Kick rocks then!


BrownSugaBaby said...


N.O. LADI said...

I despise women who act like this. Just cause you are married with kids does not make your life better than mine's. And quite frankly, I always respond with that ol Clifford Harris line "Is you happy??" Cause a lot of married folks are not. I don't plan on being single for the rest of my life. But, I will not buckle from the pressure of American society to fit into a certain box. I'm happy with me!! That is enough. Everything else (i.e. husband, kids) will fall into place when its time for it to!

LovinMe4Me said...

URRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!! Do you know how many times I had to put married friends with kids in their place about this, wish I had a buck for everytime I had to do that.

I'm 35 and yeah I should be dating more and when I feel like it I will. HOWEVER, like N.O. Ladi stated "I will not buckle from the pressure of American society to fit into a certain box".....I'm all for marriage and the kids and when God tells me it's my time for all that I will accpet it, arms wide open. But in the meantime, I'm going live the life God blesses me with everyday and NEWSFLASH married friends, I AM HAPPY WITH MY LIFE(BIG A** SMILE), SO STOP RUSHING ME TO GO TO MOMMY & ME SWIM CLASSES.


K*Mack said...

I look at it like this...being 30, single, with no kids, is like a diamond in the ruff nowadays...Far and few and I am happy to be in that category with no baby drama blahblahblah. Alot of ppl aren't even happy when they gain a hubby, house, kid, and dog. Hmph...For now, I will pass.