I left work at 4:50 because my house phone and *Jesus take the wheel* my INTERNET went out at some point yesterday and I had to be home for the dreaded technician. I've also been on a quest since SUNDAY for my Tropicana Tropics Orange Peach Mango juice. Any-ra-hoo, for those who don't know, it is of my opinion that the "number trains" like the 1/2/3/4/5 (I've never been on the 7 and the 9 is in metal heaven) are home to the homeless people, while the letter trains - scratch that - the A train is home to the stone cold weirdos. Alright, now that we've gotten that out the way, I can proceed...
So, I get on the train and am walking to the seat, literally RIGHT in front of it about to sit down, when this woman thinks she's about to BOGART me and sit down. I turned to sit, saw her coming, looked at her like "Girl, bye" and I sat on down. She sits in the seat parallel to mine and her man is standing facing her. Here begins the madness. She puts her hand under his shirt and is moving it all around in a certain area of his stomach I guess as though its his "spot" or something and at one point, she kind moves towards his pants a bit. I'm sitting here saying, "Lady, please don't" to myself but not only does she continue to rub her fingers around his "spot," but she's sticking her tongue out and rolling it over her lips. Aroo?? It's 5 o'damn clock!! At this point, they're staring deeply into each others eyes (although she has on sunglasses) and his left arm was flexing mad weird. I want to mind my business but I can't - I'm right there. HELL, does anyone else see this?! I was wondering if his arm flexing was any indication of what was going on in his "lower region." At this point, someone gets off so he now has a seat right across the "aisle" from her so I'm "wiping my brow" because the freakiness has ended.
Or, so I thought. The staring began again and this man has motioned down to her tootoot. Okay, now I'm looking around and I notice other people have started to notice these fools. It's like, you don't want to look but you CAN'T turn away or close your eyes. Besides, I was tired and feared missing my stop. It's really weird and as to not have to share this alone, I'm IMing my friend, Lucky, so that when I get on street level, she'll be able to read this for herself. So anyway, he's now put his sunglasses on and they're staring deeply again. Okay, I'm wondering if these people are on their way to or from an NA meeting or something because I'm spooked. Someone else gets off the train so she runs right across to the seat behind him and since they turn outward, they're basically sitting right next to each other. He's whispering something, who KNOWS what, and even though she's right next to him, she leans in further, almost a bit standing. You know what? It looks like this crazy ass woman is trying to get his tongue in her ear!! Oh Jesus Mary K-ci and Jojo, I can't BREATHE at this point...trying to hold into laughter! She takes her glasses off and now I see that she has a black eye. I mean, its big, black, and BRUISED. She got her world ROCKED! Of course, they got off at the same stop I did but luckily, I was hightailing it into a different direction!
Real talk, I just didn't know what to do with myself. Yes, I guess I could have looked in another direction but I mean, who completely LOOKS AWAY when the craziness begins? I love to people watch so there's no way EYE was turning away. Oh well, oh well!!
Oh, my internet and phone are both back up and running! I also, after four days of going to the store, got my juice. I OD'ed and bought SIX containers of this juice. Maybe I can see why they were out; this juice is usually at least $3.59 a container and it was on sale 2/$4. I mean,m REALLY!! Here's the juice if you want to try it (not the best pic...sorry)...sale's over tomorrow at Key Food (for the NYers and NJians, lol):
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