Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Where Do We Go From Here

How do long distance relationships work for some people? I'm really curious. Some friends and I have been talking about LDR because some feel that the men just aren't in NYC anymore. I think that a big trend lately is that people are dating folks from their city and other cities to broaden their dating pool. Let's face it: A lot of single women in their late 20s and older are trying to make this marriage thang happen and are doing what it takes to get out there.

So let's say you live in Miami, went on a vacay to New Orleans, and met a dude from Chicago. Ya'll were able to go out twice while in NO and thoroughly enjoyed each other's company - so much so that you continue to converse after you're back in your respective locations. Things are going great: you see each other maybe once a month, talk all the time, hell you might even take it old school and send a letter in the mail once in a while. It's been a year (hell, maybe longer) and things are going good because you both agree that communication is the key; it isn't easy but you've managed to work it out. Point blank: This joint has gotten SERIOUS.

Here comes the hard part: The LDR can't last forever. As good as it has been going, you both know that you want to be in the same city together (we're not even talking about living together right now) and both agree that a change is going to have to come. But your career is solid in Miami and so is his in Chicago. I mean, REALLY solid. But someone has to move. Like, the needs need to be set in motion ASAP.

Who makes the decision that you or him will be the one to make the move? Is it based on the popularity of the career field in the other's city? Is it based on whether one loves or hates the hot or cold weather? Do you both look for jobs in the other's city and whoever hits the jackpot first is the one who moves? Hmmmmm, or is it just as simple as one saying, "Look somebody gotta move so I'm going to do it." I'm curious because I often hear that the woman is the one who moves to be with the man of her choice..and it's usually based on love. But I mean, maybe it goes both ways.

I'm just asking - something for discussion. Food for thought? Maybe???


wynsters the tigress said...

i think it takes an extraordinary amount of love, compassion and patience to maintain a long distance relationship. but i don't think that anyone should ever "make the move" unless the commitment to one another is as close to 100% as possible. although, that's not to say that it's not worth a try, even if someone gets hurt in the end.

N.O. LADI said...

I am skeptical of LDR. Maybe because the only one I've ever had ended in a bad place. I think thw two invovled have to have a lot of love and communication between them BEFORE anyone moves. Thats a big step. But, for the right man, I think I would be up for it. You never know if you never try, right??