For the Love of Ray-J

circa 2003 or 2004


It was either my 23rd or 24th birthday and some friends of mine, past and current, along with some of their friends went to the 40/40 to celebrate. It was my first time there and as Jay-Z's biggest fan and lover in my head, I felt it my duty to go and do it up at "our" establishment. So, we're dancing, laughing, and drinking (bartender giving free shots) - having a good time. The music is never GREAT but if it's alright, it usually isn't a big deal because you're partying.

Enter Ray-J walking down the stairs.

Now, we don't live under a rock so we all know that Ray-J is Brandy's brother aka Mr. Cannot sing aka Mr. Nobody (especially at this point b/c there had yet to be any mention of a Kim K). So my homegirl's friend - let's call her Tiana - is like, "There's Ray-J." I notice him and his friend in their chinchilla squirrel coats, obviously hot as hell in the packed club/lounge walking around trying to be cool. He stops next to me at the bar and Tiana is like, "Yooo, we should make him feel real good - gas him up!" She proceeds to tell him it's my birthday and he goes, "Ohhhhh, its yo birtday?" in that Cali accent. Yes, "birtday" because it sounded like he left out the "h" in the word "birthday." I tell him yes in a very monotone voice and continue to sip my drink. Tiana, needed to be entertained at mine and Ray-J expense hypes him on: "Ouuu Ray-J sing her happy birthday!!!" I. AM. MORTIFIED. An "entertainer" likes to always put on a show and this moment was certainly no exception.

He busts out in song. His tune of "Happy Birthday: sounded like a nasally Alvin & the chipmunks rendition. We're all holding back our laughter (well, those of us in his direct view) but Tiana is gassing him HARD with a loud, "Yeaaaaaaaah! Saaaaaang, Ray-J!!" He finishes and I am completely outdone. Rarely the bitch and always trying to be the lady, I thank him and he goes on about his business. I continue mine with my girls.

This unfortunate catastrophe of Ray-J singing to me on my birthday could have put a downpour on the evening. But never fear, SUPERMAN appeared. Yes, Jay-Z showed up that night!!! He was RUSHED in so quick that I didn't even see him! I squealed and screamed for a hot second (though I promised myself I wouldn't not FIVE minutes before he came) before I regained my composure and stared at him from afar for the rest of the night! *puts L to my forehead*

Anyway, for the LOVE OF RAY-J, let us never have a moment like that again!