Monday, July 26, 2010

Faith and The Single Woman

My mother prays for me.

To be clear, she prays for me all the time. She's not overly religious but she definitely believes in God, goes to church, and fully believes that through prayer and faith, all things will work out. Because of that, she prays that I have a good life and am happy in all that I do. But there's more. Two years ago, she wrote me a letter that she put in with my Christmas gifts where she said, "...I pray that you find a partner worthy of all you are." Sweet lady, that woman is. A couple months ago, I was telling her something - very light and just a quick story for conversations sake - that deserved nothing more than a quick laugh. She did laugh and then she said, "I'm praying for the two of you. It is bigger than what you two know or see." My response was, "Ma, you worried bout the wrong things, the wrong things." She just said "okay" but would continue her prayers. *NOTE: I'm sure you can figure out who she was talking about if you follow...or go back. She hates to believe the truth of what it is.

My [now former] co-worker is getting married. One day. To someone. Two weeks ago, she started looking for a wedding dress. And a reception hall. And bridesmaid dresses. Try as I may to mind my business, I finally looked over and said, "You're getting married?" She said, "Yes, one day." Now she has an on/off boyfriend so when I asked if she was marrying him she responded, "Maybe. Or maybe not. But I want to be ready. I know it will happen so I'm going to start looking. I speaking it into existence. Going on my faith." Okay. I don't always show a poker face and this time was no difference because she said, "What's wrong with faith?" Nothing. Nothing at all.

But maybe there could be. My mom is praying on something that likely won't ever be. I won't say "never" because if for some odd reason the moon turns royal blue and a tide changes, I don't want you all to say 'I thought you said never.'" My old co-worker is planning a wedding when a proposal hasn't happened. Now, if that's what she wants to do, fine. I do wonder though: Can the faith lead to becoming delusional? Women walk out on faith all the time when it comes to relationships. We so often hope that though "he may be like this now, he'll get better as he grows." That's because its the hope we want for ourselves. To make us happy. We pray and keep the faith that things will change. In reality, sometimes things are getting worse even we just know that "God is making a way."

There is nothing wrong with prayer and faith. We all need something to get us through - through life, work, relationships, etc. When you want something, you should work toward it and if prayer is part of who you are, pray for it to happen.

Does/Can Faith cloud your judgment? Let's discuss.


LuckyGirl said...

The Biblical definition of faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. The dictionary definition is a complete confidence in a person or plan.

One of these relies on a supernatural power, one of them relies mostly on what you know to be true in your life at a particular time. That said, I don't believe in praying for a man. We are human and flawed in our judgements at times. We could be praying based on a flawed perception.
I do believe you can design a plan for yourself for what you want. Become all the things you desire and attract like things into your life. That's a bit more realistic and sound, IMO. You can't want good things if you are not good. Mind AND body. Work on you and the rest will come. Faith without works is dead.

TheMochaPeach said...

I believe in being prepared. I believe in encouraging yourself and speaking positivity around you.....
..with that said..planning a wedding WITHOUT a partner is a tad bit delusional and very Joan Clayton/Charlotte York (LOL). We dont wanna be the crazy friend when it doesn't happen for us. *smh*
As for your mother..Im not arguing with that woman. My mother too has her faith and beliefs..and I leave her alone. I think elders have an unforseen wisdom that maybe WE dont see. *shrug*

Kenda said...

My faith def does not mean nor does it give me the right to be completely oblivious & delusional. I want to get married & have kids. I believe that's part of my fate. To quote my pastor, "God would not create your partner & not allow you to met, fall in love, & marry him/her." I'm working on me so I'll be ready. I'm not so much searching for him.

I think parents & grandparents have a notion on what they want your life to be. I will not be arguing or debating with any of my elders about my life. It's a lost cause lol because they know better. As far as your former co-worker, I think she is a lil to prepared. That would scare the hell out of a man to know a woman basically planned a wedding before even meeting him.