Wednesday, June 22, 2011

The Female Approach

Last week at a going away dinner, a friend was trying to give me tips on how to walk the fine line between flirting and being my "always cool and down to earth" self. Here's the thing: most of my friends think that I'm SO down to earth when I'm talking to men that they can't tell if I'm interested in them or not to go on a date. They say, "You have to get a little touchy feely or say a little something that gives them that vibe." My girl Shana then said, "Or you could just approach it on some 'What's good' and let it be taken from there." We know by now I'm not THAT girl so that was laughed off but another friend said, "No because if you do the approaching, then they expect them to chase you. It's over."

I disagree. Again, I'm not the woman who is going to approach a man first that I might have some interest in but I certainly don't believe that this now leaves the door open for us to do the chasing. I've witnessed with my own eyes women doing the approaching and really, the men have seemingly taken the lead from there. My friends who've done this? They have gotten similar results: the men have called them continuously (without the woman having called first), they've asked the women on dates and whatever else goes along in the courting process for them. The only thing that was different was the initial "hello." For reference, I asked a couple of guy friends if they expect a woman to always be the one to "chase" if she approaches and the exchange numbers and they all said the exact same thing: "Not at all. Once the numbers are exchanged, it can go back to the guy chasing."

As a whole, I think we have to slow down on the idea of always seeing who's winning "the race." Yes, as women we like to be able to SEE that the man (or men) we're dating or trying to date is showing serious interest because let's face it: when we're really feeling a guy, we get all caught up and don't always realize that we're giving a little more than we're giving. But when its right, its right and only one person is slightly in the lead, lol. But the person doing the "most" chasing (especially when they're just jumping all the way out there) isn't doing so because they got the number first; they're doing it because they don't know how to be stopped and want to make sure the person they're after will dig them.

So ladies, if you want to approach a man and aren't fearful of rejection or anything like that, go ahead. That doesn't mean that you have to go 0 to 90 in chasing him. Men, just because she approaches you, don't think that she's going to be running up behind you all the time.

That's all.

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