Monday, February 22, 2010

Practicality vs. Passion

Last night, I was watching one of my favorite shows, Brothers & Sisters, when Sarah (one of the sisters) was explaining to her daughter that it was okay for her to have a Valentine who would say "thank you" for her giving him a V-Day card versus the boy she REALLY liked who would probably throw her Valentine away. Her mom said, "...As you grow up, you'll see that the guy who makes you barf and blush isn't really Mr. Perfect. Nope. There's something to be said for a nice thank you."

So I began to think: When we as men and women are ultimately looking to find a mate, which quality is more important: Passion or Practicality?

This is not a case of Good Guy/Girl vs. Bad Boy/Girl. NO. What we are talking about here is being with someone who you sincerely like/love but don't feel complete PASSION and "yearn" for but they are nice and you know you're "safe" with them. The Practical person might be one that you don't have as much in common with as you'd like but you know they care for you and won't do anything to hurt you. They make you laugh from time to time (though it's not gut busting laughter), your family loves them, and anything you want you can have. When you argue, the Practical person might just let it go or "let you win." The sex certainly is not bad (because I mean, Practical or Passionate, no one wants to have bad sex) but its not a scene you replay over and over. Its not a relationship of convenience or settling; instead, this is just not a person who lights any extra flames for you. When friends ask you what you think of a person after somewhere between the second and fourth dates, you say, "Tracey's cool."

And then there's the PASSION. This is the one who you love deep up in your soul. They're just as nice as "Practical," but there's another level here. "Passion" makes you smile and get a little tingle just at the thought of them. Passion can take care of you just as well as Practical can, there's a connection like none other. People like your passionate significant other but they can get on everyone's nerves from time to time. Probably because they're so much like you. The laughs you share sometimes send you into tears. You both are going to argue your points until you don't want to speak but barring nothing totally disrespectful or below the belt being said, you'll work your way through it. When friends ask you about the person somewhere between the second and fourth dates, you respond with a smile, "Mmmm, Kelly is great. Damn." The way "Passion" feels about you and vice versa sometimes seems like it is so intense that you almost think it is a "dangerous" love.

So you see, it's not as though "Passion" is any less responsible than "Practical." It just might be that with "Passion," you allow yourself and your emotions to go to a place that you may not have ever dreamed. "Practical" might keep you in your comfort zone and not allow you to dig deeper.

Just thoughts. What do you think: Practicality or Passion?

Let's Discuss.

Note: Tracey and Kelly are unisex names that's why I chose them.


Ms. TT said...

You be surprised how much passion can grow out of practicality.

N.O. LADI said...

Glad you blogged today, BK!!! Now, I think that if you chose Practicality over Passion, you're settling. Practicality is nice enough, fun enough, good enough but that can also be boring as all hell!!! In my opinion, if you stick with practicality, you'll be searching for Passion with someone else. Practicality is safe & common. But it does nothing for the fire that my heart desires. I don't wanna be the girl that he says is "just cool" w/no sparkle in his eyes or smile on his lips. I wanna be the one he says "is great, damn" with a bih Kool-Aid smile & eyes shining with love as he answers. That is Passion!! I choose that!

Redbonegirl97 said...

The problem with Passion vs. Practicality is that Passion can get you into trouble sometimes and turn int o an obsession. Like the others have said, Practicality can get predictable, so we are left trying to find a happy medium between the two. Trust me, I have a passion for someone and they are not practical for me, and vice versa. Maybe one will give into the other side and I won't have to be torn anymore, lol. Sure, I'll wait for it.


LovinMe4Me said...


I dated someone because it was the practical choice. And after a few months I wasn't happy but I stuck with it. It lacked passion (although truth be told he didn't know how to be passionate and silly me thought I could help him with that) and after time the relationship (I use this word loosely) just blew up.

Question, isn't it possible to have Passion & Practicality?