Saturday, November 15, 2008

Keep it Tight...or Let it Go???

I'm sure I've mentioned in the past that I haven't had much relationship experience. Over the past few months, I've been listening and observing friends' relationship and trying to put myself in them. You know, just to see how EYE would feel about them.

Lucky is phenomenal. I mean, all jokes aside, besides being a good friend, she is a great girlfriend and an amazing support system to her boyfriend and his children. Sidenote: Lucky was informed before I started the blog that there would be times that I would mention things that go on in my friends' lives. I will not, however, go into any full details - that might be a friendship violation and Lucky don't play. She went from 0 to 60, in my opinion, in terms of dealing with relationship and life issues in a matter of seconds and has taken it all in stride. She's dealt with family issues and the ever present baby mama issue - things that while they HAVE shaken and tested her will, they are not things that have made her say, "I'm out." I fuss at her all the time because while she is GREAT to her boyfriend and the kids, she is not as good to herself. I get mad at her but I know I better just get over it because she won't change.

Ace is strong. She always has been in the near 10 years that I've known her. She rides HARDER than a ride or die chick in terms of relationships and friendships. But you won't cross her and just get it away with it. EVER. As I've said before, she moved to Houston a couple of years ago and has been in a serious relationship the entire time. That relationship has failed and it has not been good. The person that I know is currently missing due to a lot of hardships in the relationship. She speaks of the strong person she is but deep down, I know it is hard to be that person when you have things so serious going on in your life that you don't know if you're coming or going. She only wants a select group of people to know, which scares me but I respect her wishes as I can or think I should. I love her and I'm also very scared for her. Ace told me a couple weeks ago that she had reservations about this relationship going into it but went for it anyway. That angers me too because I was very vocal in terms of being against the relationship as well but knew well enough to know that I should leave it alone. For two YEARS she...nevermind, it doesn't need repeating. I just know that she tried to make the best of her relationship.

So, to bring me to my question: If I were in a relationship, what could be my breaking point? Lucky doesn't, IMO, have to worry about any cheating issues and I don't know that Ace had to either. Their trials and tribulations are a little more deep than that to me. I don't believe in running from things that are hard but I must say that when I put myself in their shoes, I'm like "Shit, I gotta bounce." In Ace's case, I know what I would have done from the jump but I put her in it because I believe that she was hoping (and praying) that she had finally found someone who could be a really great companion to her.

Where would I draw the line? Do I say, "Fuck it I gotta do what's best for me" or do I say, "Let me ride this out because it gets greater later." I don't know and while I hope I never have to ask these kind of questions of a future relationship (that is the optimistic Miss BB speaking), I know that there is a very honest portion of a relationship where that might have to happen.

I don't know...just questions and thoughts.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Speaking from my own personal experience, love is at times blind...as is the natural instinct to want to believe in the common good in people. I firmly believe that your life experiences have a way of wither making you forgiving, jaded orangry..LOL sometimes all at once.
In the midst if all my trouble and baby daddy drama ...I still cant help to somehow think it will get better..while the right side of my brain is like HELLL TO THE NAHHHH the left side says maybe you have more in you to give to that relationship...

In all, my Pastor said it best, there are no mistakes in life..things happen for a reason and a season...as I travel through this journey called life, I can only hope the next ride is on the express bus with a front seat and a clear view...

Kudos...

N.O. LADI said...

You just KNOW when enough is enough. When you've had you're fill and when the love begins to hurt, it's time to bounce. Love is not supposed to hurt. I shouldn't have to settle to settle down. I have standards and I'm a lil too strong willed for the random bs. Lol!