I received the email: "Can you host a show for me? Its for a new project." My response? Sure. I don't like being in front of a camera at all but it was for my FAMOUS CHEERLEADER so why say no?? The original thought was that I was going to be interviewing some comedians. Not exactly up my alley but I like to laugh so this should be fine. The next email said that plans had changed and I was now going to be interviewing some fellow bloggers and discussing pop culture and new media. WERD???? Aight then...this might work after all. So the scene was set: Tuesday night, 7:30p...meet at the studio. Oh and DON'T BE LATE.
So the stage handlers and lighting directors and such are getting our stage together and making sure we have the right light. Finally, myself and my other blogettes (Janelle, Shana, and Eb the Celeb) were ready to be mic'ed! Okay, this is getting serious for us because I don't think any of us have been the star of a show. The floor manager cued me up and it was time to GO!!
All, I can say is WOW. From the start to the finish, we chatted like old girlfriends who were just sitting around with some cocktails! I was a GREAT "lead" if I do say so myself and my blogettes were equally FABULOUS. I don't know what to tell you: WE WERE ON POINT!! Oh and it was so much fun!
OPRAH, hurry us and catch us before somebody else does. We're HAWT, baby!!!
Relationships. Pop Culture. Community. LIFE. It can be...simply complicated.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Got a Who? Gotta Get a WHAAAAAT??
The last time I want a real "tough, straight HOOD dude" or "ruffneck," I was probably 17. Back then, these Brooklyn dudes had that swagger (I don't think I was using that word then - probably just said "style") that ALL the girls loves...young and old. They were the hang on the corner type dudes that were there no matter what time you passed by. The ones that screamed "Yo Shorty" or did the "psst psst psst" when they saw a girl they wanted to holla at.
But they were, a lot of times, also the ones who sold weed (or worse) on that same corner. They were the ones, even if they were just teenagers, also getting locked up at a retarded rate. Hell, they were the reason why the neighborhood wasn't as safe as it could be. They'd rather just hang on the block rather than go to school or get a real job - trying to have that fast money. Without hesitation, I can say that even though I never dated any of these guys (and I was a LATE bloomer so I never had sex with any of them), the idea of what they represented was a major plus for me.
But, it wasn't long after I got to college that I realized that those guys really weren't for me. As I grew older, I realized that the guy I needed was a nice who "was no punk." That kind of guy suited me well and I met many as I went through my college years and beyond. I mean, that one thing about the men I am attracted to has not changed since I was about 18.
So, the discussion came up at work about men who've been to prison and "Chief" asked me if I would ever date a dude who's been to prison. My answer, without hesitation, was "Absolutely Not." He went on to ask why and how come I won't "give a brother a chance" just because he was down on his luck. He also said that its harder for a black man to avoid that kind of situation. I told him that I wouldn't date a man who's been to prison because there's a lot of emotional baggage that comes with that, not to mention it will be tremendously harder to get a job. Chief and another co-worker looked at me and my co-worker who was in agreement like we were crazy. He said that we were "tough." I mean really though, I've never been to prison and so I don't want a man who has been there either. Sorry but even if you were a man like Charles S. Dutton who has maintained a wildly successful career after spending nearly 10 years in prison for killing a man in a street fight, I still wouldn't date you. Call it what you want but I call it my right to choose.
So, I wonder what makes a woman, a GROWN ASS WOMAN, want to date a ruffneck? If you got your shit together and not living a boring life at the same time, why the hell do you want a drug dealer or something along those lines? I mean, do people ever grow out of that "I want a thug phase?" Seriously. I'm really confused as I think about this so a little help would be appreciated.
Oh, if you think this post is judgmental...that's fine. I don't make apologies for certain thoughts I have. Oh well and oh well!
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Keep it Tight...or Let it Go???
I'm sure I've mentioned in the past that I haven't had much relationship experience. Over the past few months, I've been listening and observing friends' relationship and trying to put myself in them. You know, just to see how EYE would feel about them.
Lucky is phenomenal. I mean, all jokes aside, besides being a good friend, she is a great girlfriend and an amazing support system to her boyfriend and his children. Sidenote: Lucky was informed before I started the blog that there would be times that I would mention things that go on in my friends' lives. I will not, however, go into any full details - that might be a friendship violation and Lucky don't play. She went from 0 to 60, in my opinion, in terms of dealing with relationship and life issues in a matter of seconds and has taken it all in stride. She's dealt with family issues and the ever present baby mama issue - things that while they HAVE shaken and tested her will, they are not things that have made her say, "I'm out." I fuss at her all the time because while she is GREAT to her boyfriend and the kids, she is not as good to herself. I get mad at her but I know I better just get over it because she won't change.
Ace is strong. She always has been in the near 10 years that I've known her. She rides HARDER than a ride or die chick in terms of relationships and friendships. But you won't cross her and just get it away with it. EVER. As I've said before, she moved to Houston a couple of years ago and has been in a serious relationship the entire time. That relationship has failed and it has not been good. The person that I know is currently missing due to a lot of hardships in the relationship. She speaks of the strong person she is but deep down, I know it is hard to be that person when you have things so serious going on in your life that you don't know if you're coming or going. She only wants a select group of people to know, which scares me but I respect her wishes as I can or think I should. I love her and I'm also very scared for her. Ace told me a couple weeks ago that she had reservations about this relationship going into it but went for it anyway. That angers me too because I was very vocal in terms of being against the relationship as well but knew well enough to know that I should leave it alone. For two YEARS she...nevermind, it doesn't need repeating. I just know that she tried to make the best of her relationship.
So, to bring me to my question: If I were in a relationship, what could be my breaking point? Lucky doesn't, IMO, have to worry about any cheating issues and I don't know that Ace had to either. Their trials and tribulations are a little more deep than that to me. I don't believe in running from things that are hard but I must say that when I put myself in their shoes, I'm like "Shit, I gotta bounce." In Ace's case, I know what I would have done from the jump but I put her in it because I believe that she was hoping (and praying) that she had finally found someone who could be a really great companion to her.
Where would I draw the line? Do I say, "Fuck it I gotta do what's best for me" or do I say, "Let me ride this out because it gets greater later." I don't know and while I hope I never have to ask these kind of questions of a future relationship (that is the optimistic Miss BB speaking), I know that there is a very honest portion of a relationship where that might have to happen.
I don't know...just questions and thoughts.
Lucky is phenomenal. I mean, all jokes aside, besides being a good friend, she is a great girlfriend and an amazing support system to her boyfriend and his children. Sidenote: Lucky was informed before I started the blog that there would be times that I would mention things that go on in my friends' lives. I will not, however, go into any full details - that might be a friendship violation and Lucky don't play. She went from 0 to 60, in my opinion, in terms of dealing with relationship and life issues in a matter of seconds and has taken it all in stride. She's dealt with family issues and the ever present baby mama issue - things that while they HAVE shaken and tested her will, they are not things that have made her say, "I'm out." I fuss at her all the time because while she is GREAT to her boyfriend and the kids, she is not as good to herself. I get mad at her but I know I better just get over it because she won't change.
Ace is strong. She always has been in the near 10 years that I've known her. She rides HARDER than a ride or die chick in terms of relationships and friendships. But you won't cross her and just get it away with it. EVER. As I've said before, she moved to Houston a couple of years ago and has been in a serious relationship the entire time. That relationship has failed and it has not been good. The person that I know is currently missing due to a lot of hardships in the relationship. She speaks of the strong person she is but deep down, I know it is hard to be that person when you have things so serious going on in your life that you don't know if you're coming or going. She only wants a select group of people to know, which scares me but I respect her wishes as I can or think I should. I love her and I'm also very scared for her. Ace told me a couple weeks ago that she had reservations about this relationship going into it but went for it anyway. That angers me too because I was very vocal in terms of being against the relationship as well but knew well enough to know that I should leave it alone. For two YEARS she...nevermind, it doesn't need repeating. I just know that she tried to make the best of her relationship.
So, to bring me to my question: If I were in a relationship, what could be my breaking point? Lucky doesn't, IMO, have to worry about any cheating issues and I don't know that Ace had to either. Their trials and tribulations are a little more deep than that to me. I don't believe in running from things that are hard but I must say that when I put myself in their shoes, I'm like "Shit, I gotta bounce." In Ace's case, I know what I would have done from the jump but I put her in it because I believe that she was hoping (and praying) that she had finally found someone who could be a really great companion to her.
Where would I draw the line? Do I say, "Fuck it I gotta do what's best for me" or do I say, "Let me ride this out because it gets greater later." I don't know and while I hope I never have to ask these kind of questions of a future relationship (that is the optimistic Miss BB speaking), I know that there is a very honest portion of a relationship where that might have to happen.
I don't know...just questions and thoughts.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
The Barack & Michelle Project
Hey guys! I know it's been a week but there's been a lot going on and none of it blog worthy. There's just really been nothing for me to talk about - not even old stuff.
BUT, CONGRATS CONGRATS CONGRATS to our new First Family, the Obamas!! I'm so happy that change is going to come...and that a black family is going to do it. Mark my words we will be ready to vote for President Obama again in 2012. Those who solely voted for him because he's black will then be voting for him because he can do it - not just because he's black. Do it then!
The point of this post is about Barack and Michelle. When I first became aware of Barack Obama a few years ago, I instantly liked him. I knew he was married but because he wasn't on "that level" yet, I didn't know about Michelle. Ever since his race to the White House began, we've obviously gotten a much closer look into the family. This is where we meet President Obama's best friend and ROCK of the family -the Mighty Michelle. I loved her from the moment I heard her speak. It was as though I instantly saw WHY they "clicked."
For everything they appear to be, I love them together. Michelle has said they disagree like any other couple but because there's respect, love and a friendship between them, they know how to work things out and get back to the love. Now, there are some naysayers who say, "Hmmph, you don't know how they are behind the scenes. This could all be a show for all we know." Perhaps. I'm certainly not naive enough to believe that Barack and Michelle Obama are perfection. That's a ridiculous notion to me. But why would I choose to believe that the chemistry we see between them is an act?
Black men and women always talk about how we can't find this or that in the other. No matter what Barack and Michelle needed from each other, we all yearn for that "look." That look that Michelle gives Barack that says, "Don't worry about it...I got it. You lead the country and I got your back. When you feel like that monkey is hard on your back, don't worry...you got these arms at home waiting on you. The look that Barack gives Michelle that says, "Thank you. And when those charities or grant writers for whatever dumb reason don't want to fund you, come lay your head on my shoulder. We'll sit still and then we'll figure it out." THAT is the look we yearn for because its a look of LOVE. A look of devotion. A look of respect. There's absolutely some eye rolling sometimes (who doesn't?) and some "Yeah Michelle. Mmmhmm...ok" going on, but it seems to go back to the love.
So tell me again, why would I choose to think that when the cameras are off so does the chemistry and love? I'll wait for the answer. In the meantime, let's look at my favorite picture:
BUT, CONGRATS CONGRATS CONGRATS to our new First Family, the Obamas!! I'm so happy that change is going to come...and that a black family is going to do it. Mark my words we will be ready to vote for President Obama again in 2012. Those who solely voted for him because he's black will then be voting for him because he can do it - not just because he's black. Do it then!
The point of this post is about Barack and Michelle. When I first became aware of Barack Obama a few years ago, I instantly liked him. I knew he was married but because he wasn't on "that level" yet, I didn't know about Michelle. Ever since his race to the White House began, we've obviously gotten a much closer look into the family. This is where we meet President Obama's best friend and ROCK of the family -the Mighty Michelle. I loved her from the moment I heard her speak. It was as though I instantly saw WHY they "clicked."
For everything they appear to be, I love them together. Michelle has said they disagree like any other couple but because there's respect, love and a friendship between them, they know how to work things out and get back to the love. Now, there are some naysayers who say, "Hmmph, you don't know how they are behind the scenes. This could all be a show for all we know." Perhaps. I'm certainly not naive enough to believe that Barack and Michelle Obama are perfection. That's a ridiculous notion to me. But why would I choose to believe that the chemistry we see between them is an act?
Black men and women always talk about how we can't find this or that in the other. No matter what Barack and Michelle needed from each other, we all yearn for that "look." That look that Michelle gives Barack that says, "Don't worry about it...I got it. You lead the country and I got your back. When you feel like that monkey is hard on your back, don't worry...you got these arms at home waiting on you. The look that Barack gives Michelle that says, "Thank you. And when those charities or grant writers for whatever dumb reason don't want to fund you, come lay your head on my shoulder. We'll sit still and then we'll figure it out." THAT is the look we yearn for because its a look of LOVE. A look of devotion. A look of respect. There's absolutely some eye rolling sometimes (who doesn't?) and some "Yeah Michelle. Mmmhmm...ok" going on, but it seems to go back to the love.
So tell me again, why would I choose to think that when the cameras are off so does the chemistry and love? I'll wait for the answer. In the meantime, let's look at my favorite picture:
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