Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Finding A Way Back

"If I call you, would you call back so I could tell you that I miss you?"*

First thought I had when I heard this was, "Ummm...NO." Why would I call someone back that I was in a relationship that ended for whatever reason just to let them tell me they missed me? We obviously broke up for a reason and these things will inevitably be rehashed so why bother? Then as I thought about it and kept listening to the words that followed the initial question, I wondered if I should rethink my position.

I know of two people who were in a relationship for two years way back when (okay, just early 2000s) and because of immaturity levels on both sides, they broke up. Rightfully so. Fast forward to present day - they've both matured, gone through some good and bad things, and both seem to be in a better place now. In MY mind they're perfect for each other today. But they're exes. And exes are such for a reason, right? The two of them wouldn't be in a horrible place so if all things were aligned (okay, I left out the part that one of them is in a relationship now), would it be wrong for someone to reach to open the lines of the communication if that's what they felt?

I never rekindled anything with my ex (from many moons ago) because he was just way too corny. Even five years after we dated, he would reach out to me with a "Hey shorty, how you doing? I miss you." I'd gotten a cell phone by then to which he didn't have the number to so he would call my mom's house and I didn't recognize the number, so I would answer. Always polite, I would tell him "That's very nice but no thank you...I'm not interested." Before I would hang up, he would express his sadness over my response and I would reply "It's okay. It wasn't meant to be" and just hang up. Did I tell you this relationship lasted all of two months? Yeah, just to say I "had a man."

But really, are there any instances when an ex can reach back out trying to get that "old thang back" (which is virtually impossible and probably not smart considering you broke up)? Should exes be that way forever?

Let's Discuss.

*Note: Apparently my girl Jilly from Philly is performing a new song, "I Love You," on the Maxwell tour which is where the first line comes from. Its pretty dope.


Kenda said...

I'm a firm believer in ex's being ex's for a reason. I've fallen prey to trying to get that old thang back w/the guy who I spent many years with. It was never like the way it was in the beginning. I realized I was holding onto the thougt of ending up with my first love, with that fairytale. The reality was that we weren't meant to be. I learned from that love who I was & who I wasn't. I'm thankful for him. He made me a better woman.

Anonymous said...

I may be in an minority here but I believe an old relationship can be rekindled if and ONLY IF both parties seriously discuss what went wrong in the past and whether or not the situation causing the issue has changed. It may seem like something rather small but being able to reflect in that manner can be very hard and almost impossible for a lot of people especially if they were the ones at fault. I'm not against getting back with an ex but I would definitely be very cautious before proceeding.

K*Mack said...

I am a firm believer in leaving the past in the past and yes, you broke for a reason. I've been that way all my life and with all of my relationships. Especially if I'm not the one who wanted to end the relationship in the first place.

*shakes head adamantly* Nope. No can do.

And yes I just saw Jilly and Maxwell at MSG and that song IS dope.